California

Suit #1: So I was banging Alice in her office, and she started crying. It reminded me of George and Meredith in Grey’s Anatomy.
Suit #2: Wow! That must have been a turnoff.
Suit #1: No, I kept going. I just pretended I was banging Meredith.

80 J Street
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Extra Character

Girl #1: They missed their deliverables again. Can you believe that shit?
Girl #2: No, I can’t believe it. I am so frustrated for you. What is the excuse? “Our neanderthal foreheads make it difficult to see the screen?”

275 Battery Street
San Francisco, California

Woman in stall: I can do it… I know I can do it! … I did it! [Flush.]

Third bathroom stall over
San Dimas, California

Overheard by: badfishey

Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?

3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Producer guy #1: She’s just awful.
Producer guy #2: And it’s not like she’s smokin’ hot!
Producer guy #1: Yeah, if you can’t act at least be smoking hot.

10201 West Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Guy in next office: I don't believe in marriage. Women just take your money.

Beverly Hills, California

Manager: Did you have a good breastfeeding day?

163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper

Student: Crap, I don’t know how to start.
Teacher: I can’t help you.
Student: Why not?
Teacher: If I knew this kind of crap do you think I’d be working at this ghetto school?

1133 Mission
Oceanside, California

Model #1: You've got goosebumps, baby!
Model #2: Is the door propped open? It's fucking freezing in here!
Model #3: Have some more wine. Drink yourself a blanket.

Gallery Opening
San Francisco, California

Bimbette: Do you have any, like, advice for the test?
Tutor: Yeah — if you get a fraction, then you probably got it wrong. Fractions are really bad. Like, if you get 81/3 or some other stupid number…
Bimbette: Right. Fractions are bad. Got it.
Girl passerby: You know that simplifies, right?
Tutor: You are such a nerd.

Middle school
Carmel Valley, California