California

Boss on phone: No, no, you gotta understand, I need some help down there…I’m not the pusher, I’m the receiver.

444 Spear Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: erikrand

Administrator: How was your Christmas?
Boss: Great. Now all I want is to get some sleep and find my underwear.

3740 Mill Creek Road
Mentone, California

Secretary #1: How was your mother's day?
Secretary #2: Oh, my mother is dead.
Secretary #1: I know. (hyena laugh)

Townsend St
San Francisco, California

Overpaid IT guy: Well, I’m here to help, but don’t expect me to know what’s going on.

San Francisco, California

Ditzy office manager to coworker: I think I just had, what do you call it, a brain hernia…

San Bernardino, California

Overheard by: Mister Chief

Older woman library user: I'd like to send a sympathy card to Perry Como.
Librarian: I thought he died several years ago.
Library user: I know. The last address I have is in Jupiter, Florida.

Hawthorne, California

Overheard by: librain13

CSR: Today needs to be over. I’m so seriously ready to slit my wrists–

The phone rings.

CSR: Good afternoon. This is [Nelly], how can I help you? Oh…hi! How are you doing?…Oh, I’m great! Mm-hmm, yes, of course! I just have to pull up your previous order…Oh, really? Oh! Well, that’s okay!…No, really!…Oh, stop it! Ha, ha! Okay, well thanks for calling anyway! Yes…Thank you, I will! You also, okay? M’kay, bye!…Jesus. Okay, so, what the fuck was I saying again?

950 Tower Lane
Foster City, California

CEO: My only regret was that I couldn’t fire her [VP Marketing] twice.

50 Fremont Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Vin Dicated

Hair salon receptionist: My last boyfriend cheated on me.
Nail girl: Oh, that’s terrible. I had one boyfriend cheat on me in the past, too.
Hair salon receptionist: Well, you know what they say, “Hindsight is 24/7.”

3202 E. Los Angeles Avenue
Simi Valley, California

Overheard by: Bruce Bristol

Head of HR: I bet you he’s [the COO] a total virgin. Probably even a hand virgin.

402 Pacific Avenue
San Francisco, California