…By the Women at ASU

Programmer (shouting and thrusting both arms up): Yeah!
Boss: Oh, did you get the stored procedure working?
Programmer: No, Arizona State was voted #1 for hottest women.

Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: Chris Cardinal

Posted on November 28, 2014
Arizona, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions, Sexuality, Tech People, Time Management

Because Slacking Off Together Would Be Wrong

Manager, discussing female coworker who is slacking: Well, make sure you stay on top of her.
Worker: Yup, I'll be on top of her for sure!

Toronto
Ontario

Posted on November 27, 2014
Advice, Bosses, Canadia, Employees, Sexuality

11AM Sensitivity Training

Boss: So what’s the going rate for hiring midgets these days?

Boss: Yeah, I’m sure you can just fire up Google and type in “Midget to hire tri-state” and somthin’s gonna pop up.

12 East 46th Street
New York, NY

Posted on November 27, 2014
Bosses, Hiring & Firing, Money, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Technology

Because I Broke a Pencil and Doubled My Output

Analyst: Look, you said you broke two bones in your e-mail, but you actually just broke your arm.
Boss: Yes, I broke my bone… now I have two bones!
Analyst: No! You have two pieces of one bone now. Bones are treated as a whole. You're trying to get extra sympathy. If I break a pen in half, how many pens do I have?
Boss: Two!
Analyst: How are you my boss?

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Marketer In Accounting

Posted on November 27, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses, Canadia, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Questions, Tech People, Weirdness

I'm All, “Excooze Me?”

Boss to office manager: Oh, look, Clementine Clark is following me on clitter… Uh, I mean “Twitter.”

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Sandy Riverside

Posted on November 27, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses, Internet, New York, Sexuality, Words

Tomorrow I'm Going to Experiment with Stabbing and Bludgeoning

Boss: They're all pissed off cuz I yelled at them. I don't know why I yelled at them. It just felt good.

Washington, DC

Posted on November 25, 2014
Anger management, Bosses, Feelings, General Idiocy, Washington DC

Bloody Pagans Are Everywhere in Massachusetts

Supervisor at staff meeting: In our department we found snowflakes and icicles to be non-religious decorations.

Watertown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: offended by these decorations

Posted on November 24, 2014
Bosses, Massachusetts, Office Politics, Religion

Oh, Snapfish!

Middle Manager: Snapfish is right in downtown San Francisco.
Transsexual: Hmm, maybe I should go work for them.
Middle Manager: Oh, you’d love it, they’re very diverse…They’re all young. They’re all under 40.
Transsexual: Oh, maybe I’m too old.

3404 East Harmony Road
Fort Collins, Colorado