Boss, knowingly: It's like trying to put makeup on a cat, it just doesn't stay on…
Roanoke, Virginia
Boss, knowingly: It's like trying to put makeup on a cat, it just doesn't stay on…
Roanoke, Virginia
Older, slightly creepy, owner of firm: Do we have any more batteries?
Young, cute receptionist: No, I can order some.
Owner: Nah, just run home and get the ones out of the toy under your pillow.
Houston, Texas
Bossman: Ted*, keep in mind: if you screw this up, we will beat you like a pinñata. We'll beat you till the candy comes out.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bossman Cometh
Manager on phone: Is Andy* there? (pause) Well, when he gets back, tell him if he schedules an interview when he's not here again, I'll break his legs. (pause) Yeah, you have a good day. (hangs up)
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Office worker, about project manager's shaved head: You look like a penis.
Project manager: You're a vagina.
Office worker: Fine China!
Parsons, Kansas
The day after the company picnic. . .
Female clerk #1: Was that the new guy playing volleyball? You know the one that keeps trying to adjust his hours.
Manager: Maybe he just needs to wear a jock strap all the time.
Female clerk #2: Adjust his hours! His schedule! Everything is code for crotch to you!
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Officer: Immediately!
Intern: Like now, immediately?
San Diego, California
Creative director: I think we need to remove the word “chillax.”
Ontario
Canadia
General manager to production supervisor: You really need to come by my house after work and smell my microwave.
Dade City, Florida
Overheard by: Skip
