Says the Guy Whose Black Sabbath Vibrates the Office??

Property manager to coworker playing soft Celtic music: What is this music? Have we joined a monastery? It makes me want to slit my wrists!

Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 13, 2015
Bosses, Coworkers, Music, Questions, Religion, Washington, Wishes

Next I'll Be Attacking the Jews Like Mel Gibson

Manager, regarding cellphone contract: We did you, then we called back and did your wife. I'm sorry. We upgraded your wife. Wife 2.0, that's right. Please don't tell her I said that.

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on June 13, 2015
Australia, Bosses, Family, Relationships, Sexuality

Ten Bucks Says They're Hiring Engineers

Boss #1, about candidate: He's special.
Boss #2: Good, he's really good at business processes then?
Boss #1: No, I mean he's special.
Boss #2: Oh, like short bus special.

Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 12, 2015
Bosses, Colorado, Health & Hygiene, Hiring & Firing, Insults, Questions

We'll Be Doing a Demonstration, Followed by a Brief Q&A

Office manager (over the intercom): Whoever had a problem with the new toilet, please report to the bathroom at this time.

Warner Robins, Georgia

Overheard by: I just work here.

Posted on June 11, 2015
Bosses, Georgia, Office Politics, Restroom

She Prefers Movies About Superheros…Made by Jewish People

Customer: What movie starts next?
Box office girl: That would be Keeping up with the Steins, at 11:55.
Customer: And what’s that about?
Box office girl: I believe family problems around the time of the kid’s bar mitzvah.
Manager [under her breath]: It’s about Jewish people, duh.
Customer: Two for X-Men, please.

510 North Orlando Avenue
Winter Park, Florida

Posted on June 11, 2015
Arts, Bosses, Dumb Customers, Employees, Family, Florida, Religion, Time Management

Consumer Protection, and All That.

Chelsea's* boss, pointing to a 3-foot tall box: So Chelsea*, want some condoms?
Chelsea*, indignant: I don't need any!
(client laughs)
Boss: Chelsea*! Not you! For the clients!
Chelsea*: Oh sure! For the clients, yeah.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Posted on June 11, 2015
Bosses, Offers and requests, Oklahoma, Sexuality, Weirdness

You Know You've Lived in New York for Too Long If This Seems Reasonable to You

CEO: Martina, can you water my plants? I'm wearing Pucci.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on June 10, 2015
Bosses, Clothes, New York, Offers and requests

11AM Finalize Contracts

Boss: This subcontractor really chaps my butt.
Senior VP: Is it a good butt chapping or a bad chapping?
Boss: Bad.
Senior VP: Glad to know there’s a differnce.

812 Moorefield Park
Richmond, Virginia