CEO: I read a study that said that 50% of Canadians disapprove of Americans.
Employee: Yeah, I guess they just don’t agree with many of the US’s recent actions.
CEO: No, it’s because they’re jealous of Americans.
Employee: Err, that’s perhaps a somewhat US-centric view…
CEO: I’ve been to Canada. I’ve seen it firsthand. They are very jealous of us.
Employee: Actually, now that you mention it, I’m surprised it was only 50%.
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: poj
Boss: Why do you look so sad?
Employee: You really want to know?
Boss: No.
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Supervisor: Different day, same shit.
Employee: That’s my favorite saying! “Different day, same shit.”
Supervisor: We probably shouldn’t swear; I don’t want to offend the customers.
Employee: Probably.
Supervisor: You know what my favorite saying is? “Fuck that!”
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Executive: Is it okay if I take the intern with me to the meeting tomorrow?
Assistant: Sure.
Executive: Are you the person I ask about that?
Assistant: No.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Not the person either
General manager: Feeling better today?
Waitress, laughing: Oh, yes!
General manager: Why are you laughing?
Waitress: Oh, it’s nothing.
General manager: No, tell me!
Waitress: I can’t!
General manager: Is it girl stuff?
Waitress: No.
General manager: Well, then tell me!
Waitress: Ok. I’m feeling better because I got really fucking stoned last night.
General manager: Dopehead.
Beaumont, Texas
Boss: Does anyone have any questions?
Employee asks involved question.
Boss: You know what? I have a million questions that you cannot answer.
Employee: But you asked if anyone had any questions.
Boss: Yeah, and if I asked if anyone had to go to the bathroom, I wouldn’t expect you to whip it out and take a whiz right here.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Spacing Out
Boss: So, I have a problem with giving you the job, even though I know you can do it.
Worker: What’s the issue?
Boss: You seem to be annoyed with us, and you’re not upbeat enough after what happened.
Worker: What happened is that I lived the values, delivered on everything, then the organization totally screwed me over, gave my job to someone else, and left me to languish for a year with no certainty about my future. Now you’re saying you can’t give me another job because you’ve been such dickheads?
Boss: I know it sounds bad.
388 George Street
Sydney, Australia
Boss: Call England and find out what time it is.
Assistant: Call who in England? England is 5 hours ahead of us, so it’s 4:17 there.
Boss: Can you please listen to what I have to say and just call England? I need to be sure.
Assistant, two minutes later: I called England, and it’s 4:19.
Boss: See, it pays to double check. You were 2 minutes off.
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Boss: You may not spend an hour in the bathroom.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: Wait, I have a question: they’re fucking retarded!
Underling: That’s actually not a question…
Boss: Whatever, they’re still fucking retards.
13546 Rockland Road
Lake Bluff, Illinois
Overheard by: Victa G
