Boss: Mmmm! This pizza’s good.
Employee: Oh, yeah. This deep dish one is great.
Boss: Oh, yeah. I saw that one, but it looked too weird to try.
Employee: Yeah, it’s Chicago style.
Boss: Oh, that’s why. I like just good old American-style pizza.
Frost Bank Building
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: dizzle
Worker: Dammit! I got a paper cut! Agh!
Boss: Better than getting stabbed with a knife, stapled in the eye, or run over by the UPS truck.
9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California
Sales manager: My husband and I used that new KY warming gel last night, and I thought of you.
Female sales assistant: Ummm, could you please not think of me while you’re having sex?
Sales manager: No, what I mean is…
Female sales assistant: No. Please, just stop.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: sex object
Suit: I want to take a personal day on Friday.
Boss: Okay, no problem. What are you doing on your day off?
Suit: I’m not telling you — it’s a personal day!
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something scrapbooker: Should I be putting pictures of Auschwitz in here?
Supervisor: I don’t think so!
20-something scrapbooker: I should probably put one… I mean, we went there… I’m gonna make light of it.
570 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ethan
Employee: We just need the style guide to spell out everything, in complete detail. It’s mainly for like, legal reasons; to cover our bases.
Intern trainee: Oh. So I guess it’s like how blow-dryer labels say “do not put in mouth while in use.” Not like it’s a pressing issue, but there’s always that one retard that’s gonna fuck shit up.
Employee: Uh…sure.
Intern: OK, cool. As long as I’m getting this.
777 San Marin Drive
Novato, California
Overheard by: Max Guevara
Boss to underling: I'm okay with someone coming at me from the front. It's when they come from behind that bothers me.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: mshorty
Female boss, demanding computer use from underling: I want your SAP!
Cardiff
Wales
Overheard by: Sean
Co-worker: I didn’t know we were supposed to wear green today. I guess I didn’t get that memo.
Manager: I didn’t get that one either; just the one about the underwear.
6611 Preston Avenue
Livermore, California
