Worker #1: I don’t want to donate my organs when I die. Those doctors make too much profit off the surgeries.
Worker #2: Does your wife know this? Because I’m pretty sure your next-of-kin can override your decision.
Worker #1: Is that true? I would beat my wife in heaven if she donated my organs after I was dead.
111 South 34th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Tech guy: She can superscript these nuts.
Columbus, Ohio
Cubicle drone #1: Why don't you just stick your mouth over your brother's ass and swallow his fart?
Cubicle drone #2: Then it wouldn't taste fruity.
Aventura, Florida
Overheard by: lizzo
14-year-old girl to another: I bet you would get drop-kicked in the head if you tried to put eyeliner on a dog.
Lansing, Michigan
Girl to male coworker: And the only place she has stretch marks is on her legs.
Male coworker: Oh, that's cool.
San Francisco, California
Office guy to mother of five: There's five of you. That means you have five extra kidneys. You can get good money for those!
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Friday
Manager: Do you have any pasties?
Office girl: What?
Manager: Pasties. You know, to write a note on.
Office girl: You mean a Post-it? Pasties are what strippers wear over their nipples.
Manager: God bless strippers.
Costa Mesa, California
Office lady: Whatever happened with your belly button?
Boss: Oh, it still hasn't healed. You wanna see?
Office lady: Ew! No!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
20-something girl: I hate coming here, it's always cold and my nipples get hard.
20-something friend: That never happens to me… Is that like getting a hard-on or something?
Resort and Casino
Ledyard, Connecticut
Overheard by: fxwd
Female cube dweller: We're moving next week, but it's taking forever to get everything packed. Michael is such an anal packer.
Charleston, South Carolina
