Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
Tech guy: All right, yank on that long one there a few times.
Office mate, holding the extension cord: This long one? How hard?
Tech guy: Pretty hard, just give it a few good tugs… wait… Not that hard. If you tug it too much we'll have a big mess on our hands…
Denver Colorado
Office peon to others: What do you do if you're conjoined twins with only one ass and the other twin keeps farting blood and you want to wear white pants?
Quebec City
Canadia
Overheard by: Frank
Sales guy #1: Wanna go across the street to the deli for lunch? I hear they make a mean BLT.
Sales guy #2: They're expensive.
Sales guy #1: Dude… I'm so frekkin rich I wipe my ass with dollar bills.
Seattle, Washington
Guy in cubicle on phone: Well, it feels like it's about 3 or 4 inches up in there! No… No. Well, did you see the pictures? Because you can totally see it's all the way up in there!
Oil Company
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it's like I have someone else's penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Boss: (reaches for candy from office candy jar)
Subordinate: Don't eat the chocolate bunny candies, those things are creepy.
Boss: I've put weirder things in my mouth.
Manhattan, New York
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Girl: Stop playing with my bush.
Guy: I'm not playing with it, I'm moving it out of the way.
Girl: Well, don't come in here if you have to move it.
Guy: I can't stay out here and get what I want without coming in, and the bush is in my way.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Mel
Office drone to receptionist: Debbie asked me to make sure her wieners didn't get too hot, and that meant I had to touch them!
Denver, Colorado
