Young boy: Look, daddy, there's the big dicks! Yesterday we saw the small dicks and today we seen the big dicks. Which do you like better, daddy, the small dicks or the big dicks?
Father: I prefer the big dicks, but don't tell your mother.
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: only if this were Victoria Secrets
Office manager, ordering markers from supply catalog: What about this one?
Receptionist: Yeah. Anything that says “magnum” must be good.
Office manager: Yep.
Receptionist: I just need something big and fat.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Manager to worker: Did you get some sun this weekend?
Worker, sheepishly: Yeah.
Manager with gusto: Man, you're redder than a dick on a dog!
Southlake, Texas
Ex rock band member, current marketing manager: We just busted our nuts all over this project and now, I'd really like someone else to bust their nuts for us!
Newtown Square, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: working through lunch
Male security guard: Well, everything has been taken care of and everyone has been notified of the problem.
Female security guard: So our asses are covered?
Male security guard: Yes, our asses are covered.
Female security guard: But what about everyone else's asses?
Male security guard: Not a work conversation anymore.
Atlanta, Georgia
Engineering manager: He just knocked a ChapStick out of my ear with a grape!
Central Florida
Overheard by: Arfnotz
HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.
Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia
Customer: I'd rather shoot off my left tit than save her life!
Melbourne
Australia
Woman #1, noticing a letter in woman #2's inbox: Oh, you have stuff in your box!
Woman #2: I always have something in my box.
Woman #1: Aw, I never have anything put in my box.
National Capital Region
Canadia
Overheard by: government spawn
Man #1: What's in the bag?
Man #2: Fake pussies.
Woman: What?!
Man #2: Fake pussy willows.
Manhattan, New York
