Courtyard dweller #1: I am not sure I should hire him.
Courtyard dweller #2: Why? He seems cool enough.
Courtyard dweller #1: I asked him what he was listening to on his iPod when he walked in.
Courtyard dweller #2: Yeah, and?
Courtyard dweller #1: He was listening to Celine Dion.
Courtyard dweller #2: Enough said.
10050 Wolfe Road
Cupertino, California
Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: one of the assholes
Woman #1: I don’t think I can handle a two-hour meeting.
Woman #2: The trick is to doodle in your notebook the whole time; it looks like you’re taking notes.
Woman #1: I can design outfits for my cat rodeo!
330 South 3rd Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Cora
Real Estate Agent: So she totally knows this guy that’s on The Real OC; he’s a loan guy that she used to work with.
Loan Rep: What character does he play?
Real Estate Agent: He’s a loan rep.
Loan Rep: I know, but what character does he play?
22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California
Overlord: It’s just like “Devil Went Down to Georgia” — the devil clearly wins but, they try to sell it like Johnny did.
Underling #1: Oh, yeah, the devil clearly wins.
Underling #2: No, it’s about the fiddle playing, you can’t bring the band of demons into the mix. Johnny wins on fiddle playing.
Underling #1: I can see what you’re saying but, the devil’s flash takes it.
Overlord: Right, the groove is undeniable.
Underling #2: You know what, let’s not have this discussion again. I don’t want to be mad on a Friday afternoon.
2525 State Road
Bensalem, Pennsylvania
Customer: Umm… Excuse me, do you have that book?
Bookstore employee: Do you know the title?
Customer: No.
Bookstore employee: Do you know the author?
Customer: Uh… No, but they wrote that other book.
Bookstore employee: Do you know where the other book is in the shop?
Customer, brightly: Yeah! It's over there somewhere! (points behind himself to the entire shop)
Darwin
Australia
Coworker #1: So, you’re saying that in the movie he twisted the towel so tight it became a sword?
Coworker #2: Yeah, like, if you spin a towel tight enough it gets rigid, but if you put Kung Fu in it, it’s like a weapon.
Government agency
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kung fu master
Boss: When [Martin] first started working for the company he called me up to introduce himself and told me how great the owner thought we were and how they should order all their appraisals from us. Then he said that he was a little confused by one thing the owner had said about me personally. He said that I liked showtunes.
18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey
Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!
Clueless customer: Hi, I'm looking for this book that I read a review about, I was wondering if you could help me.
Knows-the-drill employee: Okay, what's the title?
Clueless customer: I don't remember.
Knows-the-drill employee: Do you know who wrote it?
Clueless customer: No… I know that the book had a yellow cover, though.
Knows-the-drill employee: Okay, let's see what we can find here in yellow…
Mays Landing, New Jersey
Male co-worker: It just ticks me off that Elmo is more popular than Grover. My other job was really boring, and one day I was fantasizing…
Female co-worker, interrupting: I think we’ve heard enough.
20890 Kenbridge Court
Lakeville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Gigi
