Female grocery stocker to male co-stocker: I laugh when I’m nervous, I can’t help it.
Male co-stocker: Yeah?
Female grocery stocker: Yeah. It’s really bad on roller coasters, I crack up. And I always laugh before the first kiss… And I laughed when I saw my dog get hit by a car… But I felt bad about that.
Alton Road
South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: BARA
Middle-aged cube rat, surfing the internet: A dog has no business looking like a cow.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: killmei'mbored
Man to friend: If I knew it was that easy to lose weight from getting sick I'd have licked my dog's butt a long time ago.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chimpy
Guy from server management, analyzing coworker's love life: You're like a lion cub…you don't want to bite yet.
IBM Argentina
Overheard by: Sullivan
Consultant on phone: No, Sandy*, you are not allowed to take your pet chicken on the domestic flights.
Other line: [Muffled yelling.]Consultant: Sandy, I have already told you — even if it is in a cage, we do not allow pets in the cabin. Only guide dogs or police dogs. You will have to send it as cargo. [Other line hangs up.] Good God! Who the fuck wants to take a chicken away for summer vacation with them?!
Auckland
New Zealand
Guest: Man, I really love your food!
Server: Thank you, sir.
Guest: It gives me the strength of a puma!
Server: Uh… thank you sir?
5th St
Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendant: Is the cat male or female?
Animal Cop: Female.
Attendant: So you checked?
Animal Cop: No, I didn’t check the plumbing, if that’s what you mean.
Attendant: So how do you know it’s a female?
Animal Cop: Because the cat was feisty. Kind of like my wife.
326 110th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: M.L. Liu
Office secretary: All I'm saying is… They'd better be siamese.
Manhattan, New York
Programmer #1: Do you watch Maggie and the Ferocious Beast?
Programmer #2: [Silence.]Programmer #1: Well, Hamilton is the pig. I don’t know his last name, but he’s the pig in the show.
Programmer #2: [Silence.]
100 Larrabee Road
Westbrook, Maine
