Advice

Manager: You could sit in my office since I am dialed in, but I just got over the crud so maybe that is not such a good idea. Why don;t you go down to the Alpha Room?…No, scratch that. Those guys went
to Taco Bueno for lunch and I am not sure that is such a good idea. Maybe you just better dial in from your office.

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Dental Assistant: Whatever you do, don’t lick your tongue.

710 NW Juniper St.
Issaquah, Washington

Overheard by: Margaret

Co-worker: The worst thing you can do is pull over on the side of the road and get into your trunk. It’s a good way to get yourself killed.

1201 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia

Employee #1: I don’t know what to write.
Employee #2: How about, “I’m surprised you cheap skanks chipped in ten bucks a piece”?
Employee #1: …I was thinking more, “I am sure I will get a lot of use out of this.”

327 West Michigan Avenue
Kalamazoo, Michigan

Programmer #1: How do I turn on logging in the web application?
Programmer #2: Talk dirty to it.

5450 Tech Center Drive
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Co-worker on phone: Let’s take the new Financial Controller from [the client] out to lunch. Is she cute?…Oh, it’s a guy…Does he have a sense of humor?

680 George Street
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia

Co-worker: Stop putting on your makeup at work! Do it on the subway, like normal people!

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: I really want to go get a cookie from the food cube, but [Anne’s] using the computer in there
Co-worker #2: Well, go get one anyway. And tell her to pull her pants
down.

127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio

Lawyer: You need to learn how to be human. Be less perfect; you don’t have to be so precise about everything. Be less professional. Any questions?
Secretary: Yeah. Do you have a handbook for how to be human?
Lawyer: Oh, now you’re going to be a smartass.

701 5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Tech on phone: Okay, go ahead and type in your password…Yep, just type it in…In the password field…Just type it…With your keyboard…Should be right in front of you… Has letters on it…Great!

3601 SW Murray Boulevard
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: onebadwebmonkey