Lady: … So it’s a strap-on, then. You just clamp it on and let it go to work.
Deer Park, Texas
Lady: … So it’s a strap-on, then. You just clamp it on and let it go to work.
Deer Park, Texas
Male sales rep: He's nice. You'll like him. Oh, he's religious, so watch what you say–not that you cuss or anything…
Female sales rep: No, it's cool. I can throw in some baby Jesus references. Whatever.
Irving, Texas
Male coworker, after giving himself makeshift manicure using staple remover: So I guess I'm not too good at that.
Female manager: Are you bleeding? Well, suck on it before you get an infection… and stop touching yourself!
Male coworker, whimpering: Aaaww…
Female manager: Gross!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: that's why you pay people to do that…
Grunt: The mothers, the kids, everyone — cut ’em up and shred ’em!
506 Jersey Avenue
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: in the slurbs
Building Engineer: A freon leak won’t kill you. It’ll just asphyxiate you a little.
2100 Second Street, SW
Washington, DC
Senior project manager to younger engineer: To prove that something doesn’t work you must first overload the crap out of it.
23rd Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: skippy
Salesman: What you need to do is sashay out there and tell him like it is.
Boss: First of all, bro, I do not sashay.
State Street
Beaver, Pennsylvania
Hot girl #1: So, I itch.
Hot girl #2: Uh-oh. Time for cranberry tea. Get some at lunch.
Hot girl #1: And there’s a big bump on, y’know, the opening.
Hot girl #2: Are you washing your toys after use them?
Hot girl #1: Every time?
100 Wilshire Boulevard
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: No longer hungry!
Attorney on phone: I don't ever want you to be afraid to clamp down on my boys.
Durango, Colorado
