Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
Woman #1: I haven’t been feeling well at all lately.
Woman #2: You know what’s really good? Aleve.
Woman #1: What?!
Woman #2: Aleve.
Woman #1: Oh, I thought you said, ‘weed’!
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Cube dweller: I learned something last night. Never trust a restaurant that has a sumo wrestler in a pink tutu and high heels on the menu.
Los Angeles, California
Office lackey #1: I need some experience before I apply to pharmacy school.
Office lackey #2: Have you considered a crack den?
Office lackey #1, thoughtfully: I wonder what UIC would think of that. “I interned at a meth lab last summer…”
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Cube dweller: I don’t see why people need fertility counseling. They should just buy some cheap liquor and rent a Camaro. It worked for everyone I know on the South Side.
Norman, Oklahoma
Boss, reading through company e-mails: Can I talk to you about this e-mail you sent to a client?
Employee: Sure.
Boss: In this e-mail you started out with the word “yay”; when I read this it struck me as very unprofessional. You shouldn't use the word “yay” when speaking with our clients.
Employee: That doesn't say “yay, it says “yeah”. It's a response to a question the client had.
Boss: Y-e-a-h is “yay.” Let's not use it in e-mails in the future, okay?
Employee: Okay (then under breath as he walks away) Fucking moron!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Presenter: Right, so not only do you have to help each other, but you also have to service your members.
Hotel
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: really bored
Older female sales rep: The rule is: if he jumps on you, turn your back to him immediately.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Male coworker #1 on conference call: You don't want to blow your credibility right out of the gate.
Male coworker #2: Let me tell you, I blow credibility every day.
Chicago, Illinois
