Male associate: Hey Sean, it’s not working [holds a squeeze bottle of flesh colored sauce in front of himself.] I can’t get it to come!
Sean, slowly: Put the bottle down.
Female associate: You freak. There’s customers here!
Center Ridge Road
Rocky River, Ohio
Overheard by: silent one
Cafeteria lady: Man, I gotta teach that girl some phone etiquacy…she is so ghetto!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: excited to learn a new word
Locksmith: Yeah, you gotta read “1994.” Orson Welles. Really knows his stuff. Everything he wrote in that book is happening right now. You gotta read it.
Sherman Oaks, California
Overheard by: Ja'mie
Co-worker #1: What? You don’t contribute to your 401(k)?
Co-worker #2: No, but it’s my New Year’s resolution.
Co-worker #1: 2 words: free money! 2 words, a bunch of syllables: free money.
1615 H Street NW
Washington, DC
Casting assistant: …I mean… If you’re not going to type your letter, you might want to make sure that your handwriting doesn’t make you look like a serial killer.
Diamond Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Sales guy #1: You’re nasty!
Sales guy #2: I’m not the one that took the pictures on that site.
Sales guy #1: I’m not the one that’s talking about shaving my gerbil!
Sales guy #2: Oooh… You gotta shave the gerbil. You GOTTA.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Black FedEx guy: You married yet?
White banker guy: Haven't met the right girl yet.
Black FedEx guy: There are no white girls!
Banker guy: No right girl.
Black FedEx guy: There are no right girls either. You just got to pick one and marry them and have some kids, that's what I did.
Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: CDog
Drone #1: I just don't know what to do with myself!
Drone #2: I have some suggestions, and I promise only about half involve your mom.
Kirkland, Washington
Overheard by: LDAP
Client: I didn’t read this contract yet
Lawyer: I didn’t read it either. But you can just go ahead and sign it.
200 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Tannoy: A pair of glasses has been found in the car park. If you have lost a pair, please come and pick them up from reception…if you can find the way.
Thames House
Thames Road, Crayford
England
