Employee #1: Sometimes I just get caught up in all this stuff, it’s so hectic.
Employee #2: You have to stop once in a while and find some sunshine.
Employee #1: I’d rather just find some moonshine.
50 West State Street
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jimmy Fingers
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Employee to another: There’s no telling with Farnsworth! There’s no rhyme to his means!
Winter Park
Orlando, Florida
Big nose: What’s your favorite swear or curse word?
Big ass: Fuuuck.
Big nose: What the fuck?
Big ass: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Big nose: It’s so fucking hot.
Big ass: I’m gonna fuck you up.
Big nose: You are so fucked.
Big ass: I just got fucked.
Big nose: Wanna fuck?
Big ass: Fuck me. [Pause, then] Shit, my boss is coming.
Big nose: We’ll resume this again tomorrow, Fuckface.
Big ass: Haha, you win.
Big nose: I always do.
130 West 42nd Street
New York, New York
Manager in sales meeting: I want you to ask for my help. I'm like a tool in your tool box. I am a tool.
Sacramento, California
Irate phone salesgirl: You are putting words in my mouth, and you do not know me well enough to be putting anything in my mouth!
Chicago, Illinois
Sailor, with sheet to sign: I need your signature on this.
Boss man: Ok, do you have a pen?
Sailor: Uh… No.
Boss: Tell me, Frank, how am I supposed to sparkle if you don’t give me any glitter? [Storms out of the room.]
Pt. Mugu Naval Base, California
Attorney: An Interested Party is any board member who receives, or whose spouse or descendants receives, financial gain from the corporation.
Board member: So if my son works here, then I’m not an Interested Party.
Attorney: Your son is your descendant.
Board member: Are you sure?
1524 North Santa Fe Avenue
Vista, California
Helpful librarian: Here is an explanation of the changes a boy goes through, and masturbation.
Shocked redfaced teen: No, I said books on emancipation!
Ceres, California
