Nurse aide #1: I was up all day watching the old Batman marathon today.
Nurse aide #2: The one with Adam West, right?
Nurse aide #1: Yep, the original.
Bed alarm sounds in the back hall.
Nurse aide #2: Holy Alzheimer’s, Batman!
1111 Crater Lake
Medford, Oregon
Engineer: I didn't say you're a good architect, but you're a very good guy.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The_SuperVixen
Boss: What you are talking about only adds up to 10% of snake shit
compared to the problems we have.
Meeting: …
2000 West NASA Boulevard
Melbourne, Florida
Call center worker: What does it mean, “do not ship domination”?
Call center supervisor: What?
Call center worker: “D-o-m-i-n-i-o-n.”
26600 SW Parkway Avenue
Wilsonville, Oregon
Recruiter selling a prospective employee on the company: We don’t consider them “departments” so much as “teams”, because the…uh, flow…rolls…from one to the other…
Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …and I thought that ‘rolled downhill’…
Secretary to coworker, about wife's recent knee replacement surgery: So did your wife get one of those titanic knees?
Coworker: You mean “titanium.” Yes.
St. Clair Shores, Michigan
Employee, about coworker: Now, she is what we call an “amazon woman.” She's been known to eat puppies, kittens, and babies. You might have to jog a bit to keep up with her. Following the amazon woman to lunch is like chasing a wildebeest across the savannah.
Dallas, Texas
White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Facilities manager, explaining a construction delay: So the erectors didn't come…
Carmel, Indiana
Overheard by: ass chaps
Tech guy on phone: If it’s fixed, it’s not working.
South Brunswick, New Jersey
