Engineer: This is an eight-by-six wall.
Drafter: Sixteen-by-eight?
Engineer: No, man. Six. Six!
Drafter: Sixty-six?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Sits between them
Supervisor: Yarr, here be today's checklist, yarr.
Montreal
Canadia
Female coworker: Does your water bottle say “beaver sports”?
Male coworker: Yes. Beaver sports has been in my life as long as I can remember.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men's john a minute ago…
Cubicle worker #2: Go on…
Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…
Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.
Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!
Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person's shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.
Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.
Cubicle worker #1: I didn't get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Joe P
Boss on phone: What do you mean she's canceling the meeting? (pause) Delayed? Why? (pause) She has breast cancer? That's great! (pause) Oh no! I must have cut out, I said “that's a great tragedy.” (pause) Well, that must be awful. (pause) I see, well, send her my best. (pause) Thank you, bye now. (to entire office) Cancer just saved my ass! Who wants to go for drinks?
Chinatown
Manhattan, New York
Electrical foreman on radio to electrician: Okay, here goes.
Electrician: We've got a huge electrical arc goin' on here!
Electrical foreman: Well, don't touch it!
Electrician: Well, fuckin' duh! Er, I mean… 10-4.
Phoenix, Arizona
Maintenance worker: Word association– linoleum!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rhys
Disney peon #1, discussing Jonas Brothers project: “You've just been Jo-Bro'd” sounds so obscene.
Disney peon #2: Yeah, and the tag line is, “packed with more Jonas than you've ever seen.”
(ten minutes later)
Disney peon #3, walking up: I feel like my brain is running out my ears.
Disney peons #1 & #2: You've just been Jo-Bro'd!
Burbank, California
Sales associate #1, bringing in carts: Oh man, we got another wet one.
Sales associate #2: That's what she… um, do we still need to work on that display?
Portland, Oregon
General manager: If there's a problem report immediately, don't wait for an opportune moment.
Teenage intern: Is that a real word?
General manager: What? “Opportune”?
Teenage intern: No, “moment.”
Derry, New Hampshire
