Woman on cell in bathroom: I'm revitalizing my vagina.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Woman on cell in bathroom: I'm revitalizing my vagina.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Admin to another: Zombies would never happen, god wouldn't allow it.
Schaumburg, Illinois
Receptionist to coworker: So my bum hurts because I won't let it poo.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Suit to colleague: So everyone's standing around, like they're wearing togas or something, and somebody comes over and says Julius Caesar's not wearing any clothes.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Roman Naked
Peon #1: Isn't that just going to make the situation worse? Man, that's going to mess everything up over there!
Commander: Well, you can't just stand in the rain and yell!
Peon #2: Ha-ha! rrrghh! I hate the rain!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Overheard by: El Monsoon
Worker bee #1: As soon as he was naked he started touching himself.
Worker bee #2: Oh my god!
Worker bee #1: Sometimes she touches herself… but not in a long time. Every time he’s naked he diddles himself!
New Hyde Park, New York
Cubicle drone to neighbor: They don't want to be dicks. It's like they want us to be their surrogate dicks.
Redmond, Washington
Four-year-old child, singing: This is the way we roll a joint, roll a joint, roll a joint. This is the way we roll a joint so early in the morning!
Kindergarten
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Natalie
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Topsy Krets
