Teller #1: That person smelled so bad… I thought I had stepped in poop and then I didn't see poop so I thought I was pooping and I checked!
Teller #2: What would you have done if you pulled your hand back and there was poop all over it?!
Teller #1: I ain't know, I was gonna cross that bridge when I got to it, okay?
Charleston, South Carolina
Coworker, during department-wide meeting: I didn't get that e-mail.
Clueless admin: Did you check your junk? Always check your junk. I never put anything in my junk.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Overheard by: L
Assistant: A tree fell right on her house, so she said she won't be in today.
Supervisor: I wish a tree would fall on my house. I want a new kitchen so bad.
Hospital
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Grad student #1: Wow, the boss-lady is pretty laid back today. She hasn't even harassed me once since I came in this morning!
Grad student #2: I dunno, dude. When she's this chilled out, I just assume that somewhere there are dozens of puppies that have been kicked.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Girl #1: I auditioned for Rent when I was in college.
Girls #2-#4, in a fit of hysterics: No way! Uh-uh! Whoa! (they shriek)
Girl #1: Yeah, I was living in New York that summer, and I mean, I just loved Aids! How could I not try out?
San Francisco, California
Man to friend: Hey, come over here… does this count as child porn?
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: the FBI outside suggests yes…
Manager to worker: Did you get some sun this weekend?
Worker, sheepishly: Yeah.
Manager with gusto: Man, you're redder than a dick on a dog!
Southlake, Texas
Ex rock band member, current marketing manager: We just busted our nuts all over this project and now, I'd really like someone else to bust their nuts for us!
Newtown Square, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: working through lunch
