Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green…
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1: Maybe something sassy…
Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: student worker
Manager: So, you're still doing the panda.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Animal Lover
Female coworker, showing toy pig to little girl: Hey, look, this is a kissing pig. Have you ever been kissed by a pig before?
Little girl: No.
Female coworker: I have.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Michele
Building super: Never ride the warlock's steed.
Vancouver
Canadia
Office chick: Welcome to imports. Please enjoy the music while you slowly lose your fucking mind.
Guy: I know. I have a bad feeling about this.
Office chick: Yeah… I usually wake up with that.
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager at IT training: For this project we're going to need buy-in from all of you.
Other managers: We agree.
Manager: Because every time we try to do a project like this, you buy-out right away.
McGill College
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: IT Trainer
Male attorney to female legal assistant going through files on the floor: That's what I like to see, a woman working on her knees.
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
Partner #1: Now we'll have to kiss that Jew bastard's fat ass all day long.
Partner #2: What Jew bastard?
Partner #1: Our fucking kike client, that's who!
Partner #2: We should've stayed in Albany, where we could tell those Jew bastards where to go.
Partner #1: Yeah, those were the days alright.
Manhattan, New York
Customer service rep: Do you spell that with a “k” or with a “c”?
Customer: With a “k”, like “cancer”.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: That's so wrong
