Man on phone: Did you find your tree? Did you hug your tree?
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Man on phone: Did you find your tree? Did you hug your tree?
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker to next cubicle: I'm sending you an e-mail.
Woburn, Massachusetts
Employee sitting at lunch table: Dude, this pepper shaker does not fuck around. It is amazing.
Portland, Oregon
Executive director: Yeah, I liked that candidate.
Director: Yeah, me too.
Executive director: But she seems to me like she could be a potential serial killer, you know? It was just something about her eyes.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.
Worker #2: What's that?
Worker #1: Taking a shit.
Worker #2: Oh?
Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…
Worker #2: …
Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it's a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.
Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.
Worker #1: I think I've developed stealth poo tactics. I'm like a poo ninja.
Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker 1; poo ninja!!!!
Cincinnati OH
Overheard by: Ned No D
New lady at the office: I need two big ones. Do you have a big one?
Contractor: Yes, mine's at least 19 inches.
Washington, DC
Admin #1, assembling Christmas tree: It's fine, it just needs to be fluffed.
Admin #2: Well, I designate you the official office fluffer.
Admin #1: That's my job at home, too. Making sure it's all fluffed and full.
Fontana, California
Coworker #1, standing at urinal: What's up dude, I was just thinking about you!
Coworker #2, entering bathroom: Oh, that's creepy.
Coworker #1: Well, uh… Yeah, I guess it is.
Santa Barbara, California
