Not His Fault Your Name Is Satyanarayanikinskahoveniska

Woman #1: So he called me his ex’s name during a fight last night.
Woman #2: I hate it when that happens.
Woman #1: I don’t really care… As long as it doesn’t happen during sex… But then it hardly lasts long enough for him to say any name, let alone the wrong one.

Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: ouch!

Posted on July 2, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Relationships, Sexuality, Washington

And Considerable Changing of Partners

Resident doctor: Hey! How was the concert? I’m sorry I missed it.
Pre-med: What concert?
Resident doctor: Your dad’s concert.
Pre-med: Oh, it was more like a hoe-down.
Resident doctor: Was there promenading?
Pre-med, nodding head in agreement: There was some promenading.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: snickerpants

Posted on June 17, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Doctors, Family, Medical, Music, Questions, Washington

Seems a Lot Less Gay When You Sing It, Purvis

Window washer #1, singing: I will survive, I will survive!
Window washer #2: Yehaw, that’s right, we will survive!
Window washer #1, singing: As long as I know how to wash I know I’ll stay alive.
Window washer #2: Stay alive! That’s the deal, yeeehaw!!

Jackson
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 16, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Music, Service, Washington

The Riddle Of the Sphincter Redux

Cube mate on phone: Hey! What’s up butt-lord?
[silence] No kidding! You’re such an American asshole. Later!

3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: radioman

Posted on May 26, 2008
Cubicles, Default, Employees, Insults, On the phone, Washington, Weirdness, Words

I Haven’t Heard the End of It Since I Buttered the Dog

Guy talking on cellphone while sending a fax: My wife tells me men don’t multi-task very well, and I guess I’m proving her… Well.

Seaway Boulevard
Everett, Washington

Overheard by: in my cube

Posted on May 21, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, General Idiocy, Washington

Nobody Wants to Hear About Your Public-Domain Software

Male program manager: I got a hair in my mouth…[pulls it out] Gross…
Male manager: It’s not mine, I don’t have any down there.

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: uhhh…what?

Posted on April 22, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Washington

What Did People Do Before That Excuse?

Customer service rep to customer service rep: Dude, I totally fell asleep in the middle of that last call. The lady was like, uh, hello? I said, uh, yeah, sorry about that. My computer’s really slow.

Elevator
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here…

Posted on April 9, 2008
Accidents, Coworkers, Customer Service, Customer Support, Employees, On the phone, Places, Washington

Just Answer the Question, Miss

Nurse, screening for life insurance: So tell me about your siblings…
Male worker: Well, I have 3 sisters, two older and one who’s a twin. I’m the youngest by two minutes.
Nurse: Oh, really? You have a twin sister? Are you identical?
Male worker: Are you serious? You’re a professional nurse and you’re asking me if I’m identical to my twin sister? Is this screening over because I’ve got work to do.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Stan Green