Cube mate on phone: Hey! What’s up butt-lord?
[silence] No kidding! You’re such an American asshole. Later!
3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: radioman
Cube mate on phone: Hey! What’s up butt-lord?
[silence] No kidding! You’re such an American asshole. Later!
3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: radioman
Guy talking on cellphone while sending a fax: My wife tells me men don’t multi-task very well, and I guess I’m proving her… Well.
Seaway Boulevard
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: in my cube
Male program manager: I got a hair in my mouth…[pulls it out] Gross…
Male manager: It’s not mine, I don’t have any down there.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: uhhh…what?
Customer service rep to customer service rep: Dude, I totally fell asleep in the middle of that last call. The lady was like, uh, hello? I said, uh, yeah, sorry about that. My computer’s really slow.
Elevator
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here…
Nurse, screening for life insurance: So tell me about your siblings…
Male worker: Well, I have 3 sisters, two older and one who’s a twin. I’m the youngest by two minutes.
Nurse: Oh, really? You have a twin sister? Are you identical?
Male worker: Are you serious? You’re a professional nurse and you’re asking me if I’m identical to my twin sister? Is this screening over because I’ve got work to do.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Cubicle chick: Are your boobs real?
2710 Marvin Road
Olympia, Washington
Suit to others: I guess he had a heart attack, man. He was on the john for two and a half weeks!
East Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: What?!?
Coworker #1, drinking with group: I’ve got two kids, a daughter and a son.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t know that. Does Betty* have any kids?
Coworker #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Coworker #1: Who?
Coworker #3: You know, Glen — over there at the table across the room. He has two daughters. They came to the office a couple times. One’s about 12, and the other’s 15 or something like that.
Top executive: Yeah, and they’re pretty hot, too! [All three coworkers silent.] Uhhh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.
Spirit of Seattle Argosy Cruise Ferry, Lake Union
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?
Manager: If man were meant to wear pants, then dogs would wear pants, too.
Kane Hall, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Designer #1: Ew.
Designer #2: What?
Designer #1: You know on my profile how I said I’d marry my bike if I could? I got an e-mail from a guy who says, ‘If you ever marry your bike, I want to be the seat.’
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
