Plumber: Do you know how many times I have worn pants this year?
Project manager: Probably not many.
Olympic Peninsula, Washington
Plumber: Do you know how many times I have worn pants this year?
Project manager: Probably not many.
Olympic Peninsula, Washington
Check-out clerk: How are you doing today?
Customer: I'm good, how are you doing?
Check-out clerk: My stomach hurts. Too much drinking.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: Can sympathize
Interviewer: How do you feel about ambiguity?
Interviewee: Can you be more specific?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: she wasn't kidding
Bored cubicle rat: That's my penis? It looks like a leg!
Marysville, Washington
Admin to boss: Well, you're totally opposite from me, but we have different brains.
Seattle, Washington
Boss: Someone submitted an underage Nazi girls site to our search engine? Are you fucking kidding me? As a Jew and a pornographer, this offends me on so many levels.
Virginia Ave
Seattle, Washington
Female estimator: My boss is going to deep dive me on this tomorrow. He knows where all my holes are.
Everett, Washington
Secretary: I have to wear this scarf over my shirt because the shirt is made for women with cleavage. But since I don’t have any, I wear the scarf. All my cleavage is in my butt!
Wenatchee, Washington
Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.
Airport Way
Seattle, Washington
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
