Dear Sir– Might I Have Your Phone Number?

Bored cubicle rat: That's my penis? It looks like a leg!

Marysville, Washington

Posted on September 9, 2008
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Questions, Sexuality, Washington

Eventually, You Run Out of Things to Say to Your Conjoined Twin

Admin to boss: Well, you're totally opposite from me, but we have different brains.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on September 8, 2008
Admins, Body Parts, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, People, Washington, Weirdness

And Couldn't They Come Up with a Better Title Than “Do the Reich Thing”?

Boss: Someone submitted an underage Nazi girls site to our search engine? Are you fucking kidding me? As a Jew and a pornographer, this offends me on so many levels.

Virginia Ave
Seattle, Washington

Posted on August 25, 2008
Bosses, Default, Feelings, Geography & History, Internet, Religion, Sexuality, Washington

Tonight's Movie: Office Spaces

Female estimator: My boss is going to deep dive me on this tomorrow. He knows where all my holes are.

Everett, Washington

Posted on August 21, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Office Politics, Sexuality, Washington, Words

Whatever, Ed

Secretary: I have to wear this scarf over my shirt because the shirt is made for women with cleavage. But since I don’t have any, I wear the scarf. All my cleavage is in my butt!

Wenatchee, Washington

Posted on July 18, 2008
Body Parts, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Washington

Fetus: What Are You Lookin’ At?

Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.

Airport Way
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 9, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

Learning About Noon and Midnight Rocked His World

Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 8, 2008
Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Questions, Students, Time Management, Washington, Weirdness, Words

Not His Fault Your Name Is Satyanarayanikinskahoveniska

Woman #1: So he called me his ex’s name during a fight last night.
Woman #2: I hate it when that happens.
Woman #1: I don’t really care… As long as it doesn’t happen during sex… But then it hardly lasts long enough for him to say any name, let alone the wrong one.

Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: ouch!

Posted on July 2, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Relationships, Sexuality, Washington

And Considerable Changing of Partners

Resident doctor: Hey! How was the concert? I’m sorry I missed it.
Pre-med: What concert?
Resident doctor: Your dad’s concert.
Pre-med: Oh, it was more like a hoe-down.
Resident doctor: Was there promenading?
Pre-med, nodding head in agreement: There was some promenading.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: snickerpants

Posted on June 17, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Doctors, Family, Medical, Music, Questions, Washington

Seems a Lot Less Gay When You Sing It, Purvis

Window washer #1, singing: I will survive, I will survive!
Window washer #2: Yehaw, that’s right, we will survive!
Window washer #1, singing: As long as I know how to wash I know I’ll stay alive.
Window washer #2: Stay alive! That’s the deal, yeeehaw!!

Jackson
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 16, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Music, Service, Washington