IT guy: Oh my god, I had such a terrible dream last night.
Receptionist: Yeah? What happened?
IT guy: I had a penis growing out of the back of my head.
Receptionist: Oh, um… Oh, wow!
IT guy: I know, right? And the worst part is I had to wear hoodies!
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: How is that the worst part?!
Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Employee #1: Is this your office in there?
Employee #2: It's my Petri dish.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: another bacterium
Office manager: I think in my past life I was born in the Depression.
Hallway, Washington
Sales guy: I couldn't believe it! In the middle of the meeting with Frank* there, he just flips his thong up on the desk!
Olympic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: good heavens
Boss: Do you want to hear about what trouble my toddler got up to this morning?
Lackey: Honestly? No.
Boss: I control your paycheck.
Lackey: Nnnnnothing would make me happier.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That was smooth.
Male coworker to younger female coworker: Wanna babysit tonight so I can go out?
Female coworker: God no, why don't you have a list of teenagers? Where do you live?
Male coworker: All the teenagers are busy…I live in Kent.
Female coworker: Oh well…all the teenagers in Kent already have kids.
Male coworker: Good point.
Kent, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Plumber: Do you know how many times I have worn pants this year?
Project manager: Probably not many.
Olympic Peninsula, Washington
Check-out clerk: How are you doing today?
Customer: I'm good, how are you doing?
Check-out clerk: My stomach hurts. Too much drinking.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: Can sympathize
Interviewer: How do you feel about ambiguity?
Interviewee: Can you be more specific?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: she wasn't kidding
