Poor Mr. Hefner Becomes More Confused Every Year

Woman: So, you're taking your daughter swimming today?
Man: Yeah, her first lesson is doggy style.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I didn't think we lived in West Virgina

Posted on August 12, 2009
Animals, Education, Family, Friends, Questions, Sexuality, Sports, Washington

But My Milk Is Less Pungent

Coworker #1, describing skydiving experience: I passed out from the excitement!
Coworker #2: So, you're like those goats that faint when you startle them.
Coworker #1: Yes!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on August 4, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Washington, Weirdness

And Some Sauteed Onions

Cubicle dweller: If they can clone my dog, they can clone me a liver on the side.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 21, 2009
Animals, Body Parts, Employees, Technology, Washington, Weirdness

I'm Sure I'm Not Being Paid to Do Such Things

Boss: You sent me that attachment on e-mail but I need the paper version.
Underling: So print out the attachment.

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: Really?

Posted on July 6, 2009
Bosses and Underlings, Internet, Office Politics, Washington

…If the FBI Asks.

Cashier, ringing up books: Okay, ma'am, and would you like to donate a book to a foster child tonight?
Customer: No, it's okay, I'm already doing a foster child.
(cashier stares in shock)
Customer: Oh, wait. I meant to say I'm mentoring a foster child.

Barnes & Noble
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 10, 2009
Customers, Education, Financial Folk, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Washington, Weirdness

Connecting Across the Room Is Close Enough

Work study employee: So then this guy looks at me, and starts talking about tantra and leering at me, right?
Coworker: What in the hell is tantra?
Work study employee: (explains briefly)
Coworker: God, so it's not even kinky, it's just damn boring. Who the hell wants to connect on a deeper level? Shit.

Eastern Washington University
Cheney, Washington

Posted on May 6, 2009
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions, Religion, Washington, Weirdness

Did It Motivate You to Wash Your Hair More Often?

IT guy: Oh my god, I had such a terrible dream last night.
Receptionist: Yeah? What happened?
IT guy: I had a penis growing out of the back of my head.
Receptionist: Oh, um… Oh, wow!
IT guy: I know, right? And the worst part is I had to wear hoodies!

Woodinville, Washington

Overheard by: How is that the worst part?!

Posted on April 20, 2009
Body Parts, Clothes, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences, Tech People, Washington

Then I Remembered How Shifty Mom Is

Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: Amy