Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Not too old
Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Not too old
Project coordinator on phone: They moved people into my area… No! They already moved them into my area… Yes, I know it’s my area, dammit! I already peed on the desks and claimed them as mine!
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Still can’t stop laughing!!!
Bimbette peon: This is my last weekend of being twenty-one! I can’t believe I’m so old. I might as well start picking out cemetery plots. I am going to get shit-faced this weekend — my last weekend of youth! [Old coworker stares blankly.]
Glen Allen, Virginia
Overheard by: Tisk Tisk
Male peon: You feeling better today, Jim*?
Jim: Yes.
Male peon: Well, you look a lot better. We were worried about you yesterday. You were turning white.
Jim: Yeah, that’s not a good sign when you’re a black man.
Newport News, Virginia
Designer #1: I couldn’t walk for an hour after he finished with me the last time!
Designer #2: Uhhh…
Designer #1: My ankle guy!
Corporate Park Drive
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: the other other jen
Executive VP: We have to eat our own children before someone else does.
Quarterly review conference call
Virginia
Overheard by: He who has given up eating human flesh, mostly
Office chick #1: Don’t squeeze it! All the goo will come out!
Office chick #2, playing with stress ball: Why, what happened?
Office chick #1: I got a little too excited and squeezed it until it popped… That’s why I don’t hold babies…
Arlington, Virginia
Technical lead: See, I can’t do anything here in Version Three.
System admin: That’s because you’re not connected to the universe.
Technical lead: But the copy of the good universe didn’t point to us!
System admin: What universe are you guys operating in?
IT intern: Depends on what we’re smoking.
12900 Worldgate Drive
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: IT Consulting Stooge #4769
Cube dweller: Bring the orange juice and champagne to a boil, and then you just slip the fish in…
Chantilly, Virginia
Office lady: I thought I was overweight — turns out I was just full of shit!
Elden Street
Herndon, Virginia
