Male coworker to female coworker: So, did you have the diarrhea before lunch or after lunch?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Joel
Male coworker to female coworker: So, did you have the diarrhea before lunch or after lunch?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Joel
Woman: Hand me one of those magazines.
Man: Gourmet?
Woman: No.
Man: Newsweek?
Woman: No.
Man: Time?
Woman: No. [Looks at kids’ table.] What about that table over there?
Man: Well, there’s Highlights…
Woman: Okay, grab those. [Begins working on puzzles.] What’s hollow — a lute, a sponge, or a jar?
Man: Lute.
Woman: No, sponge.
Man: You can’t see through a sponge.
Teen nearby: Can’t see through a wall, either, and it’s hollow.
Man: True. Got a point there. Must be a sponge.
Woman: Okay, it’s a sponge.
Waiting area, Forensic and Mental Health Services
Hamilton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kim
Lowly assistant: We are supposed to have our monthly, quarterly, and annual goals prepared for Tuesday’s meeting.
Lawyer: Really? Tell the office manager to send me everyone else’s goals.
Office manager: I probably won’t have them before the meeting.
Lawyer: But I don’t know what my goals are.
1500 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: It’s Comcastic
Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?
Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Marketing director: Eighty percent of what we do is called ‘wasting time.’
Massachusetts Avenue NE
Washington, DC
Staff: You have a second?
IT: Nope, completely out of stock on those.
200 Front Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.
Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Female coworker #1: I've worked here six years and don't really know you that well yet.
Female coworker #2: Ya know, I was the first one hired from off the street…
Cubicle dweller, mumbling under breath: That explains a lot!
Law Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Blonde at Heart
Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?
699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: TAJ
CSR on phone: No ma'am… If I was out trying to bang my dick in a bar I wouldn't take the time to call you back.
Atlanta, Georgia
