CSR: I feel bad though that I’m leaving — I really like it here.
Manager: Oh, don’t feel bad. We got our money’s worth out of you.
Supervisor: Uh.
Manager: Um, I know, that sounds bad, huh. What I mean is that we, as a company, would much rather hire smart people who leave after two years than stupid people who stay here for, like, forty.
CSR: Thanks?
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Receptionist: Hey, did Kevin leave?
Co-worker: No, he’s gone for the day.
16443 Minnesota Avenue
Paramount, California
Overheard by: Stella Bella
Manager: We need to be ducked-rowed here as there will be a lot of scrutiny given we’ve had the opportunity to reoutlook the schedule twice now and yet the schedule continues to slip.
229 8th Street SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Peon #1: Why is Laura gone already?
Peon #2: She had some medical stuff done today, I believe through the rectum, so she went home.
1441 West Long Lake Road
Troy, Michigan
Manager: The first deadline is April 31st and second deadline is May 31st.
Employee: There’s no 31st in April…So we have just one deadline.
Cyber Gateway building
HITEC City, Hyderabad
India
Manager: Why are you sending me comps at 1:30 in the morning?
Designer: Because I wanted to work on them at home, and then when I was home I couldn’t work on them until Loveline was on the air and I could listen to some relationship advice at the same time.
Manager: Oh, that makes perfect sense.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Worker: If you see [Jen] or [Jake], can you tell them I need to talk to them?
Boss: What for?
Worker: I just need to ask them about this thing for Thursday.
Boss: Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to ask [Jen] or [Jen] about it.
120 West First Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Attorney on phone: I’m good, [Jeff]. I’m riding my bike with a glass of wine in my hand on my way to a strip club…No sorry, I don’t know anything about that. I’m too busy mismanaging my files and harrassing my staff to get to that.
999 3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Receptionist: And how are we feeling this morning?
Patient: Yeah, yeah! Here’s my co-payment.
15 West 39th Street
New York, NY
Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
