Voice on phone: Hi. I just wanted to ask if you’re open today?
Employee: No, we’re not. I just thought it would be fun to come over here on my free day. That it?
Voice on phone: … Well, that was rude [hangs up].
Cell phone store
Kansas City, Missouri
Lady #1: So, I’ve joined a pottery class. It’s a group of people working in all different mediums. Everybody gets to make things according to their own artistic vision.
Lady #2, disgusted: Sounds very cultured.
Lady #1: Oh, no, haha — it’s not.
College and Park Street
Grapevine, Texas
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Supervisor: Where the hell have you been for the last 15 minutes?
Employee: I had to use the restroom.
Supervisor: What–all the way in the main building?
Employee: That’s the one.
Supervisor: Why not use the one over here? You just like to waste time, don’t you?
Employee: Actually, I like the soap better.
4708 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!
Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.
Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?
Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]
South Adams Street
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Just wanted to pay for my groceries
Employee: Don’t interrupt me now, interrupt me when I am finished!
1200 10th Avenue South
Birmingham, Alabama
Manager: This month's data looks solid, but can we use November's data?
Office guy: Well, November was like the transition, it's not crap like it was before but it's not as good as this new stuff…
Manager: So, November is like solidifying crap?
Office guy: Uh…sure?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: It was really hard, surprisingly. Took me over an hour to get it in there, though.
Coworker #2: How did you get it out, then?
Coworker #1: Oh, well, it deflated after about five minutes, so that wasn't a problem.
Ottawa
Canadia
Woman exiting man’s office: Give ’em a copy of your contract — I don’t care. I have better things to do than sit here and jerk myself off.
498 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I care
(on casual Friday)
Female employee to male employee: So you only wear pants on Fridays?
Wooded Acres Drive
Waco, Texas
