Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.
Fresno, California
Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.
Fresno, California
Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you're doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I've got a degree in screwing!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Steph
Programmer: Oh, thank god! My replacement iPhone. Not having it is like having my arm cut off. (looking at courier, he notices he has a stub instead of his right arm. Embarrassed, he signs for it and tries to hand stylus back to courier's stub. The courier leaves without saying anything)
Programmer: I want to go home now.
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Chris
Tech #1: Should I bring tools?
Tech #2: Nah, you can use your teeth and fingers.
Tech #1: What do you mean?
Computer Repair Shop
Indiana
Voicemail: Hello, this is Joe* from engineering, I’m having a problem with my computer, and was told you could help me out. It appears that there is a problem with my fixed dick…er, ficked disk, fisk dick.
[pause]
FIXED DISK…..
4747 Harrison Avenue
Rockford, Illinois
Project manager: Well, the design document is undergoing revisement.
Tech lead: Excuse me, undergoing what?
Project manager: …it’s being revised right now.
Tech lead: Don’t you mean revision?
Project manager: No. That would be like saying that listening to someone’s advice is taking their words under advision.
One Charles Park
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Senior programmer to slightly-less senior programmer: The thing is: every time we don't pay attention to you, you're right.
Berkeley, California
Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.
Memphis, Tennessee
Central office tech: I'm not really sure how it works. I don't play with it very often.
Phone Company
Moorhead, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lord Baddkitty
Technician: Hi, can I get under your desk for a second to look at your box?
1440 Broadway
New York, NY
