Female coworker, reading out loud: “Do not exceed six tablets in a 24-hour period.” To hell with that. I'm gonna get crunk off this Pamprin!
Fort Collins, Colorado
Female coworker, reading out loud: “Do not exceed six tablets in a 24-hour period.” To hell with that. I'm gonna get crunk off this Pamprin!
Fort Collins, Colorado
VP of marketing: If you used a duck, you’d somehow have to tie it into a kid who was killed by a drunk driver who loved ducks.
30 E, 33rd Street
New York, NY
Co-worker: This lunchtime let’s lock ourselves in a toilet cubicle with a knife, some string and a needle, and see what happens.
144 Uxbridge Road
Shepherd’s Bush, London
UK
Cube worker preparing to take flu medicine (to the tune of Monty Python's Spam Song): Drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, wonderful drugs, glorious drugs.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Fyathy Rio
Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Suit #1: I think my memory has improved since I started taking those Ginkgo biloba tablets.
Suit #2: Really? I bought a bottle of those, like, two months ago, but I don’t remember where I put it.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Voicemail: Please state your name and excuse for absence.
Employee: I’m too drunk to drive.
167 3rd Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Receptionist on phone: Hello, law offices…Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number. This is a law office. No, this law office has nothing to do with the Maury Show. Sir, you know, I really think you have the wrong number…No, our number is nothing like that…Well, I don’t know, are you drunk? Really? Well, good for you…Okay, well, good luck in getting through to Maury.
350 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Plumber: What do I have to do to install gas lines?
Admin: You have to take our class and enroll in a drug and alcohol testing program.
Plumber: You mean I gotta be on drugs to install gas lines?
Admin: No, sir, you have to NOT be on drugs.
Plumber: Oh, OK. I can do that.
5461 Southwyck Boulevard
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Emily
Grunt #1: How you doin’ today, Paul*?
Grunt #2: Flying. Flying high today.
Grunt #1: Too many pills?
Grunt #2: Yep. They make you pee.
North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
