Teacher: My birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe I’m going to be 35!
Student teacher: I’m only 23.
Teacher: When I was 23, I was going to chapel at university while smoking pot!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Really??
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
…Well, I Don’t Mean It in a Sexually Harassing Way, Sir…
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won’t cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won’t stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He’s gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won’t cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I’m sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego
Let Me Just Unzip My Briefcase
Male visitor: I am here because of a class that I missed due to my court case. She (points to professor) told me I could get credit if I showed her my subpoenas.
Campbell University
North Carolina
They Should Have Known, Man!
Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?
699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: TAJ
…They Must’ve Been Following Me Everywhere I Went Today!
Library clerk, exiting elevator: Whooo! It stinks in there! Who just got off of the elevator?
Student worker: (silence)
Fort Worth, Texas
I’m Hoping to Put Everything Right With a Deathbed Confession
Professor: What’s the big deal? I don’t understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Aren’t You an Art History Grad Student?
Female grad student: I think I lost the sperm, and I’m not even sure what the sperm looks like.
Carl Icahn Laboratory, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: my experiment’s not that fun
I Know It’s True for Me, at Least
Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]
Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York
We May Need to Go to Godiva for That
Dad: Come on, guys, pick out a gift and let’s go…
Son: I know what we’re giving Mommy.
Younger daughter: A big butt! A really big B‑U-T‑T!
Barnes & Noble
Glendale, Arizona
Overheard by: Blue Girl In A Red State
What’s That on Your Upper Lip?
Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
