Boss: I need you to work your superpowers for me.
Stunned office monkey: In the office?!
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: My superpower is top secret
Boss: I need you to work your superpowers for me.
Stunned office monkey: In the office?!
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: My superpower is top secret
Cube dweller: Hey Liz*, wanna hear something crazy?
Liz*: Sure.
Cube dweller: That stock I bought is up 900% today.
Liz*: Which stock?
Cube dweller: That gay stock I bought! 900%!
Liz*: Gay stock…?
Cube dweller: Yeah–that gay tv network stock. I knew it! Gay tv, yes!
Liz*: Well, good for you…
Cube dweller: Man, my butt is so sore today…
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Your what is sore?!
Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Co-worker #1: What is a good exercise for the lower abs?
Co-worker #2: Well, I can think of one exercise that’s really good for the abs…
Co-worker #3: yeah, but only if he can last longer than 5 minutes.
The copy repairman pops out from under the copier.
Repairman: Well ladies, it’s been an entertaining afternoon.
8565 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway
Portland, Oregon
Repairman on phone: Sometimes they bust out and you’ve got to give them oral…
1200 West Main Street
Tomball, Texas
Overheard by: Sarah Lashley
Co-worker #1: …no, the cervix is attached to the uterus, but it’s not the uterus, the uterus is different–
Co-worker #2: You guys have the best conversations first thing in the morning.
Co-worker #3: You just missed the bit about the penis.
Co-worker #2: No, I didn’t.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Exec #1 to exec #2: Does it matter if there's more than one person?
Exec #2: No, I'll just jiggle them around. Let me know who and I'll start jiggling.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: officedrone
Customer: Can you put directions for the delivery man on the label?
CSR: Sure.
Customer: Tell him to give it to me through the back door.
CSR: The back door?
Customer: Yeah.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Office grunt: I was just going to jerk them off but I figured it would be best to ask first.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: wes
Female coworker #1: By that time I was drunk enough to run in there myself. So I bought one of 'em. It was like a regular condom, but it had these little pink things…
Female coworker #2: You bought a french tickler?
Female coworker #1: Yeah! So we blew it up at our table and started using it as a volleyball. It was really fun for a while, and then I spiked it into the priest's head and we were asked to leave the reception.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Doubled over Coworker
