Boss: Who's better then me?
Worker: Jesus.
Coworker: Good answer.
Huntington, Texas
Overheard by: kaleena
Boss: Who's better then me?
Worker: Jesus.
Coworker: Good answer.
Huntington, Texas
Overheard by: kaleena
Holy roller #1: He has a Jesus hat on. He looks really WT today.
Holy roller #2: Praise him.
Holy roller #1: Is that his wife? I think it is.
Holy roller #2: ‘Thin-lipped, snake handling Jesus freaks,’ I can hear her shrieking already. I wonder if they speak in tongues… Durka durka blah blah burble burble…
Holy roller #1: That’s what it sounded like. Here they come…
Holy roller #2: I can feel the holy spirit oozing out of her. I’ll bet she smells like Jesus.
Holy roller #1: Totally.
757 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Student: Ooooh, grape juice! I love drinking grape juice. It makes me feel like Jesus.
Eastern Kentucky University Dining Commons
Richmond, Kentucky
Female potential juror: I can’t sit on a jury for religious reasons. I don’t believe in judging people.
Lawyer: This is a negligence case. You won’t be deciding if somebody is good or evil. There’s no question of morality involved.
Female potential juror: Whatever — it’s against my religious convictions to judge people.
Lawyer: You understand that we’re not asking you to send someone to Hell — you just have to decide whether or not they were clumsy.
Supreme Court
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Employee: You're not going to a chiropractor, are you?
Boss: No. She's a lesbian voodoo doctor. She's next to a bagel shop.
Vancouver
Canadia
Nerd #1: You need to stop playing that damn game. It's horrible. Look at yourself!
Nerd #2: Look. You can get on me all you want about World of Warcraft, but at least it's not Scientology!
Nerd #1 (looking nonplussed ): You mean to tell me that's your excuse for why World of Warcraft is acceptable!? Are you kidding me?
Nerd #2: Hmmmm, I suck at life.
Orange, California
Female peon #1, in reference to cute co-worker: So, what happened with that guy you gave your number to?
Female peon #2: Oh, girl, I didn’t tell you?!
Female peon #1: No, what happened?
Female peon #2: Listen to this… he never called me, right? And I really wanted to know what was up with that. So, I walked over to him the other day and said, “Hi, how’s it going?” Well, we got to talking, and he said he was sorry he never called, but that he isn’t looking for a relationship right now… because he’s trying to concentrate on his relationship with Jesus Christ!
[Female peon #1 and eavesdropping co-workers break into laughter.]Female peon #2: Can you believe that? I was rejected for Jesus!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Kitty
Support Desk: I wonder why preachers are so hateful? Out of all the customers I’ve dealt with, preachers are all so mean. They’re worse than Canadians
5330 East 31st Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: donrae moore
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!
New York, New York
Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid
Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.
Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians
