Peon #1: (sneezes)
Peon #2: Bless you.
Peon #1: Thank you.
Peon #2: Notice I didn't say “god bless you cause god doesn't love you.”
Peon #3: Aw, I love you.
Peon #2: But you're not god.
Memphis, Tennessee
Office girl #1, singing: Sometimes I feel like saying “Lord, I just don't care,” but you got the love I need to see me through.
Office girl #2: Fitting with the rapture and all tomorrow. Sarah's pissed cause I am going to heaven and she isn't. Apparently the Jews are having rapture parties.
Burlington, Massachusetts
Security guard: No man, the race is called Jew, the religion is called Jewdity.
1515 Broadway
New York, NY
Office chick #1: Wow, I didn’t know *Lisa was so religious.
Office chick #2: Oh really, what kind of religion is she?
Office chick #1: I dunno, like Jesus and stuff.
CTI Building
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Coworker: Have a good day, Susan*.
Susan*: Jesus is going to get her.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Male coworker #1, walking up to soda machine: Yippee, a free soda!
Female coworker: That's good karma.
Male coworker #1: Yeah, I earned this! Whoever lost this did some bad things.
(walks out smiling with two sodas)
Male coworker #2, entering: Hey! Who took my drink? I left it while I went to the bathroom.
Female coworker: What were you doing in the bathroom?
San Diego, California
Female coworker: So, how was it?
Male coworker: Oh my god. We put the phone on mute and talked amongst ourselves. The other two people left the room, I don't know where they are.
Female coworker: Painful, right?
Male coworker: St. Patrick used that presentation to drive the snakes out of Ireland. He played it and after an hour the snakes had enough.
Female coworker: He's the worst. I have no idea how someone allows him to put his pistol in their holster.
Male coworker: I like that one. I would rather beat off with a cheese grater than listen to that again.
Manhattan, New York
Excited graduate assistant: Cadbury cream eggs are like the Jesus of Easter!
Faculty passerby: Wait, what?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Office lady, staring at box of muffins: Evil, evil, evil.
St. Louis, Missouri
