Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Client: I never smoked a cigarette a day in my life!
Assistant: Well, you’re just a regular choirboy!
Client: Smoked a kilo of dope — didn’t see a need for cigarettes!
Real estate office
Texas
Front desk: XYZ Inn*, Avery* speaking. How may I help you?
Caller: Is this the Holiday Inn?
Front desk: No, it’s the XYZ Inn.
Caller: So you’re not the Holiday Inn anymore?
Front desk: No!
Caller: Okay.
611 Ocean Street
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Crystal
Medical assistant trying to make appointment for patient: Tell me something — why is the Gastrology office always so backed up?
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Agent: … And I have to go back out there because her husband’s not in town this weekend.
Receptionist: Really? Where is he?
Agent: He’s out of town!
Receptionist: … Yeah. Thanks.
2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Car Ramrod
Customer: What are all of those light switches for?
Store clerk, without looking up: For turning things on and off.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Chandra
Secretary: Why would she take a gun with her to the parking garage? … This is good news!
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: intern
Caller on speakerphone: Is so-and-so in?
Office girl: No, he’s out for the week.
Caller on speakerphone: Okay, well, I had you transfer me to what’s-his-name before. Is he in?
Office girl: No, I think he’s gone for the day.
Caller on speakerphone: Do you even work there, or are you just an answering service?
Office girl: Ummm…
Wisconsin Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Secretary: Do you think Texas is a southern state?
Wise woman: I guess.
Secretary: It is the furthest south you can go.
2200 Neal Street
Commerce, Texas
Overheard by: Gibby
Receptionist answering phone: XYZ Law Firm*. How can I help you?
Assistant, on the phone: Hey, it’s Kevin*. While I’m buying supplies, can I get myself some candy?
Receptionist: No, just get what’s on the list.
Assistant: But last time I got candy and everyone liked it.
Receptionist: No, no candy.
Assistant: Okay. Um, about the light bulbs… Did you want me to buy frosted or clear ones?
Receptionist: I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Just get the clear.
Assistant: Yeah… Um, no. They don’t have any clear.
2223 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
