She Wins the Office Gracie Allen Award Every Year

Very serious ditzy receptionist: On project runway last night, I picked the winner and loser of the challenge and the order everyone was going to be called out before Heidi even called them.
Receptionist friend: You rock.
Very serious ditzy receptionist: I know. [pauses] But that doesn’t mean I’m made of stone.

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on April 17, 2008
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Friends, General Idiocy, Ohio, Receptionists, TV, Words

It Took a Year of Therapy to Get to This Point

Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.

Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 21, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Insults, Oregon, Philosophy, Receptionists

Tobacco Exec: Gentlemen, We Have to Address This Competition

Client: I never smoked a cigarette a day in my life!
Assistant: Well, you’re just a regular choirboy!
Client: Smoked a kilo of dope — didn’t see a need for cigarettes!

Real estate office
Texas

Posted on March 20, 2008
Comebacks, Customers, Default, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas

Are You Now, or Have You Ever Been, the Holiday Inn?

Front desk: XYZ Inn*, Avery* speaking. How may I help you?
Caller: Is this the Holiday Inn?
Front desk: No, it’s the XYZ Inn.
Caller: So you’re not the Holiday Inn anymore?
Front desk: No!
Caller: Okay.

611 Ocean Street
Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Crystal

Posted on March 18, 2008
Anger management, California, Customers, Default, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists

For the Same Reason Ob/Gyn Is Good at Discharging

Medical assistant trying to make appointment for patient: Tell me something — why is the Gastrology office always so backed up?

Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: Mary

Posted on March 17, 2008
Default, Health & Hygiene, Receptionists, South Carolina, Words

It Wasn’t Big Enough for the Two of Them

Agent: … And I have to go back out there because her husband’s not in town this weekend.
Receptionist: Really? Where is he?
Agent: He’s out of town!
Receptionist: … Yeah. Thanks.

2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Car Ramrod

Posted on March 4, 2008
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Maryland, Receptionists

Electricity Finally Makes It to Middle America

Customer: What are all of those light switches for?
Store clerk, without looking up: For turning things on and off.

Wichita, Kansas

Overheard by: Chandra

Posted on February 1, 2008
Comebacks, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Kansas, Questions, Receptionists, Technology

… What? I’m in the Will, of Course!

Secretary: Why would she take a gun with her to the parking garage? … This is good news!

111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: intern

Posted on January 30, 2008
Gossip, Massachusetts, Receptionists

Why Do I Always Get the Callers with the Tough Questions?

Caller on speakerphone: Is so-and-so in?
Office girl: No, he’s out for the week.
Caller on speakerphone: Okay, well, I had you transfer me to what’s-his-name before. Is he in?
Office girl: No, I think he’s gone for the day.
Caller on speakerphone: Do you even work there, or are you just an answering service?
Office girl: Ummm…

Wisconsin Avenue NW
Washington, DC

Posted on January 24, 2008
General Idiocy, Questions, Receptionists, Washington DC

But Being a Western State Is So Much Cooler

Secretary: Do you think Texas is a southern state?
Wise woman: I guess.
Secretary: It is the furthest south you can go.

2200 Neal Street
Commerce, Texas

Overheard by: Gibby

Posted on November 5, 2007
Coworkers, Questions, Receptionists, Texas

Receptionists