Questions

Or Tommy Lee

Female employee #1: …so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn’t know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun’s light to reach us.
Male employee: That’s depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn’t that’s a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, “Gimme two minutes!”
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!

Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec

Overheard by: Sara

My Wife Gave Me Up for Lent.

Boss, about hot applicant for receptionist post: We can't hire her.
HR: Why not?
Boss: She'll get me in trouble.
HR: Just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu…
Boss: Diet? More like a fast.

St. Louis, Missouri

Aren't People from Outside the US Supposed to Be Good Spellers?

CSR: May I have your name, please?
Customer: It's “Kathy.”
CSR: Just to verify, that's “k” for Kansas, “a” for apple, “t” for Tom, “h” for Harry, and “y” for, ummm…uhh…Wyoming?
Customer: Correct.

Quezon City
Philippines

We Know a Lot of Places Where It Isn’t, So We’re Making Progress

Supervisor: Did you find that part?
Coworker: No.
Supervisor: Well, where is it?

Flagstaff, Arizona

Overheard by: Jimmy

12PM Lunch

Coworker: Who won the World Cup game?
Supervisor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Coworker: Aw, I wanted the U.S. to win!
Supervisor: Why? The U.S. wins everything. That’s why we have the Olympics.

1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Rasputin

And Could You Zip Your Fly Before You Answer That?

Coworker #1 (after a low-rumblin', hearty burp): What? “unprofessionalism” is not a word?
Coworker #2: Did you just ask that after burping?

New York City, New York

Career Tip: Resolve Workplace Conflict With the Running Man Dance

Female secretary #1: I decided I'm not going to golf in the rain anymore.
Female secretary #2: Are you guys going to fight?
Male secretary: No fighting! Only dancing!!

Providence, Rhode Island

Yeah– Michael Is My Slave Name

Older front desk agent to newer one: Hey, Michael, is your name Peter?

Hotel
Las Vegas, Nevada

…While Restarting Their Computers

Tech support girl: So, what should I tell them? They say their internet is slow.
Tech support supervisor: Tell them to suck my big brown dick.

Ontario
Canadia

…If I Don't Make It Out Alive, Avenge My Death.

Server manager: Sheffield Hallam… Is that a Poly University?
Web marketer: Dunno, ask the Googleverse.
Server manager, darkly: I will ask the Googleverse.

Dotcom Company
England

Overheard by: Tim C

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