Coworker #1: So I have decided that I'm only going to do work when the boss is in the office.
Coworker #2: Haha! That is so awesome!
Coworker #1: I feel like it's only fair, if she isn't going to be here working, why should I work?
Coworker #2: I agree, she is the captain of this ship, after all.
Coworker #1: And, if I'm forced to do work, for example take a telephone call, I will document the time so that in the future I can make up that time back by not working.
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: … Kind of scary. I just don’t know how I feel about that.
Coworker #2: It’s not a big deal. It’s a game. It’s fun.
Coworker #1: Oh… So, wait — do they eat the dreidel?
West 58th Street
New York, New York
Manager: Can you gather up the other guys? We have to move a bunch of stuff.
Employee: Fuck you.
Manager: What did you just say to me?
Employee: Fuck you, asshole.
Manager: Are you nuts?
Employee: Fuck you, bitch.
Manager: You’re fired. Get out of here.
Employee: I wasn’t clocked in. You can’t fire me.
Manager walks to computer, clocks him in, says, ‘You’re fired,’ and then clocks him out.
Employee: That’s so unfair.
Circle Centre Mall
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Salesgirl: How was your first trip to New York? Have a good time?
Salesman: Oh my god, it was awesome! All the restaurants we went to were amazing! So expensive, though.
Salesgirl: Yeah, Manhattan's pretty pricey.
Salesman: Yeah. (pause). I think the restaurants are expensive because they have to import all their supplies onto the island.
Studio City, California
Overheard by: goofopet
Camp coordinator on cell with staff: So wait… They took your shoes and started chewing on them? (pause) But are your shoes okay now? (pause) Well, that's good then, at least. Sometimes I wonder why I work with children.
Ontario
Canada
Overheard by: Camp really is a magical place…
Sales #1: Have you called any previous customers yet?
Sales #2: I’ve called customers till I’m blue in the ass.
973 Opelika Road
Auburn, Alabama
Overheard by: Rob Byrd
Boss: So, what do you like about working here?
Employee: Well, I really like that working here, you have your hands on the pulse of campus.
Boss: I'm sorry, did you say “the balls of campus”?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Didshereallythinkshesaidthat?
Customer: I know you wouldn’t carry Jell-O, but do you have something exactly like it but called something else?
Whole Foods
Silver Spring, Maryland
Worker bee: Is the meeting in room 1 finished?
Peon: I don't know, is anyone in there?
Worker bee: No, it's empty.
Peon: Then the meeting's probably finished.
Bristol
England
Overheard by: Stephanie
Admin assistant: What do you mean you don’t have sex? You live with your boyfriend!
Receptionist: Yeah, once you have the fish in the boat, there’s no reason to keep throwing out the lure.
12th Street
Portland, Oregon
