Assistant #1: Do you know what they used to use to get the color in red velvet cake?
Assistant #2: Blood?
Assistant #1: No. Beets.
Assistant #2: That's disgusting.
Supervisor: Compared to your guess?
Sacramento, California
Assistant #1: Do you know what they used to use to get the color in red velvet cake?
Assistant #2: Blood?
Assistant #1: No. Beets.
Assistant #2: That's disgusting.
Supervisor: Compared to your guess?
Sacramento, California
Deli girl: Have you ever seen a beautiful penis? I appreciate what they do, but I don't like to look at them.
Seafood woman: I've seen a beautiful one, but I'm biased, cuz I helped design it.
Deli girl: Um?
Seafood woman: You know, with the piercings, the Prince Albert and the rings. It's pretty.
Tillsonburg
Ontario
Canadia
Sweet little old lady #1: Well, we didn't know if we should spit or swallow.
Sweet little old lady #2: What did you do?
Sweet little old lady #1: I swallowed.
Cincinnati, Ohio
New hire: Can't we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.
Washington, DC
Old white lady: Excuse me, where do you keep your knickers?
White supervisor, nervously: What? I don’t have any…
Clothing store
Ocala, Florida
Employee #1, looking at t-shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn't she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she's so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn't Spanish. She's so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.
Kohl's Department Store
Minnesota
Overheard by: Expect Great Things
Paralegal: So, should I go ahead and do a dump on the computer?
Seneca Meadows Parkway
Germantown, Maryland
Woman in cubicle on call with overseas agent: Oh, hello… were you in Slumdog Millionaire?
Confused customer service agent: What?
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: poking my eyes out with my pen
Library clerk, exiting elevator: Whooo! It stinks in there! Who just got off of the elevator?
Student worker: (silence)
Fort Worth, Texas
Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It's a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn't he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It's a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don't eat your friends!
Borders
Melbourne Central
Australia
Overheard by: Incognito
