Boss: Are you cranky because you fell into the toilet?
601 E Street NW
Washington, DC
Boss: Are you cranky because you fell into the toilet?
601 E Street NW
Washington, DC
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Coworker #1: She had some weird disease that wasn't supposed to exist anymore.
Coworker #2: Was it leprosy?
Coworker #3: I've always had a soft spot for leprosy.
Nevada City, California
Overheard by: Soft Skin
Office peon #1: I think it might be a wobble.
Office peon #2: A wobble? On the toilet?!
Office peon #1: A wobble.
Office peon #2: Well, who's jumping up and down on it?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: No idea what they were talking about
Warehouse worker: Can you fax this document to a P.O. box for me?
Shipping clerk: Usually I would “fax” this to a P.O. Box for you [Gina], but my fax machine is down right now. So maybe you should “buy” a stamp and use the Postal Service for this one!
Warehouse worker: Oh, okay, thanks for the help. Where do we keep the
stamps and who works in the Postal Service?
495 3rd Street
Pineville, Louisiana
Overheard by: Lesn N. Tothem
Boss to underling: What does “lol” mean?
Underling: “Laughing out loud.”
Boss: Oh, good, I thought it was “lots of love.”
Breakwater
Australia
Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused Techie
Crazy IT girl: Do you have a knife? If anybody in here had a knife, it would be you.
Crazy IT guy: Serrated or flat?
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Facilities manager to entire staff: And for the men in the office, please don't spit chew into the urinals, as it can clog the pipes and is very difficult to remove.
Engineer, joking: Oh, I see, single out the men. What about the girls?
Female QA manager, who actually chews: We don't spit, we swallow.
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: testcenter cowboy
Admin chick: Here's a fan for your office.
PhD Chick: What's this for? To like cool me off?
Baltimore, Maryland
