Middle-aged female employee: Where's the protein in that young lady?
Middle-aged manager, excited: There's lots of protein. Lots and lots!
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Middle-aged female employee: Where's the protein in that young lady?
Middle-aged manager, excited: There's lots of protein. Lots and lots!
Marlborough, Massachusetts
IT tech #1: What day is father's day?
IT tech #2: Sunday.
IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!
IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.
IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!
IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.
IT tech #1: Fuck!
IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?
IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what would you like to do for father's day?
Santa Clara, California
Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.
IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Pepsi please
Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me.
17 Battery Place
New York, NY
Senior partner: I was telling my secretary the other day, “You know what turns me on? You know what gets me hot? A woman with a job.”
Senior associate: Well, I have one of those.
Senior partner: It really turns me on.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: praying that it's only a dream
Professor: You will have those students that don’t show up to class or office hours, or that don’t care about their grades. What causes this?
TA: Global warming?
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: underpaid TA
Cube dweller, about post-it: Do you want a fresh one or a used one? (pause) Heh, heh… Funny.
Office dweller: Um, well, can I have some tape?
Cube dweller: You're so needy.
Kentucky
Overheard by: Lucy
Boss: Let’s take care of that tomorrow.
Employee: Let’s as in “you and me”, or “you, me and [Kate]”, or “me and [Kate]”?
Boss: Let’s as in “you and Kate].” I shouldn’t be involved unless there’s a problem.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Nerd #1: All Brittney* talks about is food and sex.
Nerd #2: Yeah, what do you think she likes doing more: talking about eating while having sex, or talking about fucking while having lunch?
333 Pfingsten Road
Northbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: deltar
