Lesbian Colleagues Don't Want to Hear About Your Man Troubles, Dear Reader

Employee #1: How do you tell the man you're going to marry that they are letting themselves go, and you're not sexually attracted to them anymore?
Employee #2: Leave them for a woman…
Employee #1: What!? I'm not a muff diver!
Employee #2: We can teach you.

Pullman, Washington

Posted on June 5, 2015
Employees, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality, Washington

Yeah, but I Always Do

Designer #1: Hey Susan*, did you have a traditional Pearl Harbor celebration?
Designer #2: Yes, I did. I–
Designer #1, interrupting: –Did you make airplane noises on the drive home?

495 Union Avenue
Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: one cubicle over

Posted on June 4, 2015
Designers and Photographers, Holidays, Questions, Tennessee

Sure You Don't Want a Venti?

Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I'll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I'm sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I'll just have a large broken dream.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Posted on June 4, 2015
Customers, Employees, Feelings, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions

Career Tip: Call It a “Snow Thrower,” Ladies

Guy: It took me two hours to shovel my driveway this morning.
Girl: Why don't you get a snow blower?
Guy: Because they're expensive.
Girl: Why don't you split it with your neighbor? Then you could take turns blowing each other.

Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: shovel buddy

Posted on June 4, 2015
Advice, Employees, Pennsylvania, Questions, Weather, Words

When I Dream, It's Always About My Money

Customer: Why hasn't my money been deposited into my account today?
CSR: Well sir, it's Martin Luther King Day, so the banks are closed.
Customer: Oh, yeah! I forgot about that, homie!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: dropping some eaves

Posted on June 3, 2015
Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, Massachusetts, Money, Questions

Um-Hm, Um-Hm– Describe Them

Boss man on phone with contract project manager: Hey, Julie. Do you have your clothes on yet?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: had to walk away, was laughing too loud

Posted on June 3, 2015
Bosses, Clothes, Florida, On the phone, Questions

…So We Can Argue About It Online?

Angry customer, ending long rant: Why do I have to sign a form? Why can't I close it over the phone? I didn't have to sign a form to open the account.
CSR: Yes, you did.
(pause)
Angry customer: Will you e-mail it to me?

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on June 2, 2015
Anger management, Customer Service, Customers, Internet, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions

When Art-History Majors Enter the Workforce

Teller #1: How am I over my cash limit? I just transferred you $30,000!
Teller #2: Did you put the transfer through right?
Teller #1: Yeah! I had $60,000. How am I still over my limit of $20,000?
Teller #2: You had $60,000.
Teller #1: Yes.
Teller #2: And you transferred me $30,000.
Teller #1: Uh huh.
Teller #2: What does that leave you with?
Teller #1: Oooooh…

Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: They handle your money, people!