IT manager: So do you want to come and find me this afternoon? We can talk about that thing.
Receptionist: Sure, I'm having it a manicure at 2.30, we can do it after that.
IT manager: Okay, but won't you have to wait for your nails to dry?
Receptionist: Oh, am I going to have to touch something?
IT manager: No, don't worry, you won't have to touch anything.
London
England
Manager: Here's the office supply cabinet. Do you need anything?
First-day-on-the-job peon: Oh yeah! A pad of paper. I like to take dubious notes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss: Have you seen Tina today?
Loudmouth: Yeah, at 1 am, passed out in the shrubbery!
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: also hungover
Female cubicle rat: Oh my god, last night was insane! I had a lot of fun though. Hey, do you know if I was wearing underwear last night? (pause) Shutup, I am not a slut! (manic laugh) I could have sworn I had some on before I left the house. I'm itchy. I hope I didn't sit on something funky at the club.
Orange County, California
Coworker #1: What is Cirque du Soleil anyway?
Coworker #2: I went to the website — it looks like it’s just a bunch of Asians stretching.
Columbus, Ohio
Receptionist: You can do that while you’re sleeping?!
Accounting girl: Well, yeah.
Receptionist: … Does it feel good?
Accounting girl: [Shrugs.]
Hutchinson, Kansas
Overheard by: The Temp
Coworker: So, you went hunting last night?
Cube neighbor: Yup.
Coworker: Do you gut the deer yourself?
Cube neighbor: Yup.
Coworker: So… I guess you know what the inside of a human looks like, then, right?
701 East Byrd Street
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Did she just say that?
Coworker #1: Did it rain while you were in Chicago?
Coworker #2: Nope.
Coworker #1: Oh, that’s good. I saw on the Weather Channel that it was raining in Virginia, and I got worried.
42 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
VP: Are you pregnant?
Worker #1: No!
VP: I’m just asking because it seems like you get pregnant every two months.
Worker #2: Hey! You can’t ask people if they are pregnant!
VP: I didn’t ask her if she was pregnant.
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
