Co-Worker #1: Are you going to the training class later today?
Co-Worker #2: No, I don’t have to. I was grandfather clocked into the old training.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Co-Worker #1: Are you going to the training class later today?
Co-Worker #2: No, I don’t have to. I was grandfather clocked into the old training.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Intern #1: So is there a difference between homogenous and homogeneous?
Intern #2: Yes, one means “composed of one thing,” and the other is, like, a gay Einstein or something.
Rayburn House Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the Best and the Brightest
Boss, on phone: Abby*, it’s Frank*. I’m at the British Library, and there’s a man looking at me.
Abby, on other end of phone: …Yes?
Boss: Who is it?
British Library, 96 Euston Road
London, England
Overheard by: hapless
Boss: Do you know what the difference between you and me is?
Employee: About 20 IQ points and a sense of style?
1 Lincoln Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: tried not to laugh out loud
Five maintenance engineers stand staring at a window with rain pouring down on the inside of the glass.
Engineer: If we all knew about this, why didn’t we fix it?
6th and Sycamore
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alice
Female employee: Man, I’m soo busy today. Why is everyone taking advantage of me?
Male employee: I dunno.
Female employee: Oh well, maybe I just let people take advantage of me. It’s just easier that way.
Male employee: Some advice: don’t ever say that in a bar.
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Chicago, Illinois
Office manager: Did you make an anonymous donation to our MS bike team?
Intern: I wish!
51st Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Security guard #1: You hear about that wedding today? Someone’s gettin’ married in the park.
Security guard #2: Who? Bert and Ernie?
GR rep: Not in this state.
Sesame Place
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Male customer: Well, we’re definitely interested. We’ll be back this week to make the purchase.
Sales chick: It was a pleasure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Female customer: Oh, Katie. We’ll remember that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, whispering: Katie is the name of my “other” personality.
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, turning to male customer: Katie is not very nice, is she, darling?
Male customer: No, dear, she’s not.
Northridge, California
Overheard by: charlotte
Customer: Can you draw something on the cake for me?
Employee: Sure, what do you want on it?
Customer: A dick.
Employee: I can do you one better. We’ve got these chocolate-covered bananas, and chocolate-covered cookie dough balls. I can put an edible, chocolate-covered dick and balls on your cake.
Customer: Fucking awesome!
Manager, walking in: Uh, what are you doing?
Employee: Making a dick cake.
Manager: Woo! Makin’ a dick cake!
Ben & Jerry’s, East Village
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sam
