Male office worker: Megan Fox is so hot in the Transformers movie…
Female office worker: Except for her thumb.
Male office worker: What?
Female office worker: Seriously, google “Megan Fox thumb.”
Male office worker, after googling it: Oh my god!
Female office worker: See?
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?
Thousand Oaks, California
Male college admissions rep at event: Wait. Do I need to be somewhere? Do I need to be doing something?
Female superior: You need to stand here now, and look pretty.
Male college admissions rep: Done.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: it's like this all the time
Guy from the backseat #1: Look at that guy rolling in the car next to us, his hair all slicked back and shit. That car says he makes some serious cash.
Guy from the backseat #2: I bet he's a manager.
Guy from the backseat #1: I bet he makes enough to score aaaalll the sluts and whores, cause that's what managers do.
Rancho Bernardo, California
Overheard by: I want to be a manager, too
Coworker to another, just back from honeymoon: Hey, that shirt looks like it actually fits. Did the missus pick it out for you? Did she make you go on a diet? Did you stop eating because you're depressed? (waits for an answer, gets none) Do you have to ask your wife for permission to talk to me?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Peezy
HR manager: Why didn't you hire Ashley*?
General manager: Well, Mary* in shipping said that the girl was too good looking. She'd be a distraction to the other employees.
HR manager: Oh, that's nonsense.
General manager: Well, I think that was mainly my fault. When she walked past, I snapped my neck checking her out.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: The good-looking girl in the office
Coworker: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people”. Eleanor Roosevelt said that, and you know she was smart, 'cause she was uuuugleeeeeee!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Social worker to others, standing outside smoking: If we were all 5'9″ we wouldn't be overweight.
Tampa, Florida
Male gay CSR to female straight CSR: The underwear I'm wearing right now is so cute I wish I could show it to you!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leigh
Geek #1: It's really hard to find an adult Girl Scout costume.
Geek #2: I wonder why, I'm sure there are fat Girl Scouts. (pause) I'm not saying you're fat! I'm just saying you're old.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Had to run from the room.
