Employee #1 on audit day: Did you notice the unnaturally large head of the male accountant?
Employee #2: Oh my god, I noticed that last year during audit!
Menasha, Wisconsin
Employee #1 on audit day: Did you notice the unnaturally large head of the male accountant?
Employee #2: Oh my god, I noticed that last year during audit!
Menasha, Wisconsin
Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white.
1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
CEO: [Frank] and [James] go way back. And when they start on a bid, [Frank] doesn’t shave. He grows a moustache, and when we get the deal the moustache comes off. So when I see it start coming back, I want it off. Either way, he’s still the ugliest bastard we have on the team.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman #1: I haven’t had a haircut since my friend died.
Woman #2: Why not?
Woman #1: She used to do my hair for nothing.
Woman #2: Well, it looks like a fucking Brillo pad now. I’d throw some money at your head, and fast!
365 W Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Cube chick #1: I thought you put that up so everyone could see.
Cube chick #2: Nope. This is just for me. (deep sigh) I don't know why they made her bald.
Cube chick #1: I think they're trying to make her look 3-d.
Carol Stream, Illinois
Overheard by: eh what?
Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: azn
(cute FedEx guy with hat on leaves office after dropping package off)
Female agent: Firecrotch or no firecrotch? I couldn't really tell.
Aspen, Colorado
Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad?
Coolidge, Arizona
Woman exiting bathroom stall to woman washing her hands at sink: Shirley! I like you! You've filled out your jeans!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Income auditor guy: I want to buy my fiance a gift like make-up.
Income auditor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
Income auditor guy: 30 Egyptian pounds.
Income auditor gal: You could buy a blusher with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
Income auditor gal: You can’t buy anything with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
Income auditor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute boxes that’s full of make-up and perfumes.
Income auditor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plastic surgeon and get change.
Translated from the Arabic.
Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt
