Office girl: Is the company starting a cloning program? You two are exactly the same.
New girl #1: Yeah, I know…except that she had a baby, and I didn't.
New girl #2: Right, so the only way you can tell the difference between us is the size of our hoo-hoos.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Sole African American lady in office: Man! If she sticks her head any farther up the boss' ass, she'll look like me!
Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Office worker: You know how everyone just looks at themselves and sees pure ugliness?
1800 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Crotchety old engineer: That's the best-looking hermaphrodite I ever saw!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Conservative Italian Stallion
Worker #1, about friend's two children: I like Mike, he's a cool kid. Jake, though, just scares me.
Worker #2: Me too! Serial murderer material.
Worker #1: Yeah! He's probably just this misunderstood, clinically depressed kid that nobody loves because he is so ugly. And underneath it all, he's probably a lovely person, but the world will never know because of two bitches like us. Oh, who am I kidding? He's a psychopath, and you and I are awesome.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: lurking in the shadows
Confused male call center worker: What are you doing?
Female coworker, shaking dress after hours of cutting off split ends: I've got hair on my thing and it's itchy.
Adelaide
Australia
Office drone, surfing the net: I can't find an image of a woman in a prison jumpsuit that would fit in a shopping cart…
Manhattan, New York
Pale girl: Look at these freckles on the back of my hand. Oh, my — what is this dark ring?!
Smoker: That’s called a tan.
130 East Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker to boss: I hope he doesn't go because his protruding nose hairs are very distracting.
Los Angeles, California
Receptionist: I feel like I look like I just rolled out of bed and came into work.
Dental assistant: Well…did you?
Receptionist: Well, yeah…but still!
Centennial, Colorado
