You're Welcome to Come Browse Through Our Bargain Bin, Ma'am

Coworker on phone: Hi! Yes, I'm am looking for deer carcasses. I was hoping you can help me find some roadkill deer carcasses.

Virginia

Posted on February 1, 2020
Animals, Coworkers, Death, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

11AM Damage Control

Co-worker on phone: I’m sorry, can you say that again?…I’m sorry…I’m having some trouble understanding what you’re trying to say…Why don’t you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?

Hangs up.

Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country…Christ.

839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut

Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton

Posted on January 24, 2020
Connecticut, Coworkers, Gripes, Insults, Language barrier, On the phone, Race

…And That Was the Basis Of My Anthropology Dissertation.

Man on phone: Man I saw plenty of dogs in Shanghai, and I gotta tell you they weren't eating them!

Chinatown
Washington, DC

Posted on January 18, 2020
Animals, Employees, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Travel, Washington DC

We'll Need a Detailed Written Account Of Those Things, Sir

Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on January 9, 2020
Bosses, General Idiocy, Holidays, Money, On the phone, Sexuality, Travel, Virginia

Even Telling the Truth About It Nauseates Me

Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.

N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi

Posted on January 6, 2020
Default, Holidays, Lies, Mississippi, Music, On the phone, Receptionists, Weirdness

Will You Wear Your Corset and Shiny Black Boots Again?

HR woman on phone with rep at staffing agency: I will drive over there and I will smack you; and then I will fire you in front of your peers.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Anony Mouse

Posted on December 27, 2019
Employees, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Massachusetts, On the phone, Threats, Violence

You Can Always Tell the Employees Who Own Livestock

On the phone: I have had such a bad morning, I'm so glad to be at work now so I can just sit back and relax.

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on December 11, 2019
Nebraska, On the phone, Time Management

When You Get Vestibular Guacamole, Don’t Come Crying to Me

Girl on phone: It’s like, ‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,’ but in your case, ‘A burrito, a burrito, the health of my inner ear for a burrito.’ It’s truly sad.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on December 8, 2019
New York, On the phone, Philosophy

The Richard Simmons Video That Never Made It to Shelves

Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.

Fairfax, Virginia

Posted on December 3, 2019
Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, On the phone, Sexuality, Virginia

…Oh, You Mean That I'm Anal?

Analyst on phone: It's his equipment. I'll shove it in there if it's his equipment. (pause) What do you mean, “that's what they heard about me?”

Skokie, Illinois

Posted on December 3, 2019
Gossip, Illinois, On the phone, Tech People