Our Annual Budget? Really?

Young employee on cell: You know how you wear pants that are too tight and you get that mark? It's kinda like that.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on January 15, 2022
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Employees, New Jersey, On the phone, Physical Appearance

And “Go Back to Mexico!” Could Be Interpreted in a Variety Of Ways.

Boss on phone, trying to dig himself out of a hole: I've been straight and honest and very clear and precise in what I say. I am very careful and think about what I say before I let it come out of my mouth, except this one time, but it went over everybody's head, so I don't think they noticed.

University
Maine

Posted on January 11, 2022
Bosses, General Idiocy, Maine, Office Politics, On the phone

Because Religion Majors Are Always So Normal

Executive assistant on phone: You know, I don't want to sound mean, but something I've noticed is: all the students who have (pause) problems… all take psychology courses! Why do you think that is? Maybe they're just trying to “figure it all out”?

Jesuit University
Maryland

Overheard by: Admin

Posted on January 10, 2022
Education, Executives, Maryland, On the phone, Questions, School

We Stopped That Whole “Give Us Your Poor, Your Tired…” Thing Ages Ago

Receptionist: No, sir. No, I don't know where you heard that. (pause) No, our judges cannot issue you a new Green Card over the phone.

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on December 30, 2021
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Maryland, Offers and requests, On the phone, Receptionists, Weirdness

10AM Take Calls

Phone Rep: Sir, are you self-employed?…OK. And do you own the prison?

14700 Citicorp Drive
Hagerstown, Maryland

Posted on December 14, 2021
Customer Service, Customer Support, General Idiocy, Maryland, On the phone, Questions

A Little Something Extra on the Meat-Lover's Pizza, Ma'am

Employee #1: Yeah, it was a great porno. Yeah, she was all up on his taint. The taint. You know the part between the meat and the hole? Yeah, that.
Employee #2, on the phone with customer: (cringe)
Customer on phone: Excuse me…
Employee #2: Umm, yes ma'am?
Customer: Was that man talking about balls?

Pizza Place
Long Island, New York

Posted on December 12, 2021
Body Parts, Coworkers, Customers, New York, On the phone, Sexuality

Could You Slowly Narrate the Act Of Pulling It Out?

Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.

Memphis, Tennessee