Assistant: A tree fell right on her house, so she said she won't be in today.
Supervisor: I wish a tree would fall on my house. I want a new kitchen so bad.
Hospital
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Assistant: A tree fell right on her house, so she said she won't be in today.
Supervisor: I wish a tree would fall on my house. I want a new kitchen so bad.
Hospital
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Coworker, about telecommuter: She was always nice to people, but not nice to the customers.
Horsham, Pennsylvania
Guy in charge of van duty: You're going to be the next… (next words muffled by van engines)
Girl assisting van duty: Did you just tell me I'm going to be in epic porn?
Guy: What? No! I said “admin coord.” You're not going to go to HR, are you?
Girl: No, I'm actually a little flattered.
Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: porn star
Supervisor: The problem is that we have some faculty who just will not leave. There's a guy who hasn't been paid since 1991 that still comes in every day.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Office manager to room full of new hires: I like to reach out and touch everyone. We have lots of different ways to do that.
L'Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC
Secretary: She asked me to file these but I'm not quite sure how she wants them.
Lazy old receptionist: Just do it wrong and she'll quit asking you to do stuff. That's what I do.
Crown Point, Indiana
Overheard by: the one that usually asks
Coworker #1: Yeah, we just got some lame intern for the department, just because he is friends with the president's daughter.
Coworker #2: Huh? He really is? Isn't she like 13?
Coworker #1: Not Obama, you stoner! The president of the company.
Stonybrook University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Kevin
Boss: You sent me that attachment on e-mail but I need the paper version.
Underling: So print out the attachment.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Really?
New project manager: Make it more…sciency.
Chemist: Sciency?
Project manager: You know, truthier.
Chemist: Did you have a stroke?
Project manager: This is just my project management style.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Boss to another, on phone: I'm telling you, if we start letting them think for themselves, we're screwed!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Apparently Screwed
