Coworker #1: I was berated by Susan* yesterday because I asked for my light fixture to be fixed… again… after 13 days. She got angry because she ‘has more important things to worry about.’ Apparently, her husband’s in the ICU.
Coworker #2: Dude, she’s going to have to unplug him.
Coworker #1: I understand that, but I resent the accusation that somehow my asking for my light to be fixed betrays an insensitivity to the plight of her almost-dead husband.
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: You’re making a mess with the mail. Envelopes are all over the place. They’re calling me to come clean them up.
Employee #2: They’re calling you? What are they saying?
Employee #1: “Come clean me up. I’m strewn about the table.”
Employee #2: …Because evelopes have such a good vocabulary.
Employee #1: Of course they do. That’s why they don’t stay sealed. They’ve got a lot to say.
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Coworker #1: Tell me I’m crazy.
Coworker #2: You’re crazy.
Coworker #1: Yeah, Helen* totally caught me checking out Bob* yesterday.
Coworker #2: You’re crazy, ’cause he’s gay…
Coworker #1: So, what? Gays aren’t allowed to look good?
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: Gaia
Boss on phone: We really want to focus on your company in 2009. The alternative energy sector is expanding at an incredible rate, and I… (pause) Really? Rape?
Williamstown
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
IT director: You have to think of an org chart as a sort of hierarchy.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker, reading an e-mail: Oh no… We can’t hire someone that says “TGIF”.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: I agree
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Telemarketing instructor #1, analyzing recorded call: Does heavy breathing count as “filler language”?
Telemarketing instructor #2: Not at this call center.
Boston, Massachusetts
Peon on phone: She’s right that it doesn’t make sense, but it’s what we should do.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
HR rep: We'll go around the room, and I'd like you to introduce yourself and give tell us something about you.
Supervisor: Hello, my name is John, and I rule this lab with an iron fist.
Montreal
Canadia
